June 7, 2026

The Midlife Warrior: Choose Reinvention Over Decline

The Midlife Warrior: Choose Reinvention Over Decline
iHeartRadio podcast player icon Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon Pandora podcast player icon Youtube Music podcast player icon Deezer podcast player icon Spreaker podcast player icon Podcast Addict podcast player icon Castbox podcast player icon PocketCasts podcast player icon Castamatic podcast player icon Goodpods podcast player icon Overcast podcast player icon Podurama podcast player icon Podverse podcast player icon YouTube podcast player icon
iHeartRadio podcast player icon Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon Pandora podcast player icon Youtube Music podcast player icon Deezer podcast player icon Spreaker podcast player icon Podcast Addict podcast player icon Castbox podcast player icon PocketCasts podcast player icon Castamatic podcast player icon Goodpods podcast player icon Overcast podcast player icon Podurama podcast player icon Podverse podcast player icon YouTube podcast player icon
Season 1

What if the exhaustion you feel in midlife isn't the beginning of your decline — but an invitation to your greatest reinvention? In this episode of REGENERATE, Chris Rew and Capt. Dave explore what it actually takes to choose reinvention over decline — how to find clarity when the old map stops working, why purpose becomes non-negotiable in the second half of life, and what it means to step into midlife not as someone fading out, but as a warrior stepping up.

REGENERATE is broadcast live Mondays at 10AM PT on K4HD Radio - Hollywood Talk Radio (www.k4hd.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). REGENERATE TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

REGENERATE Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/regenerate--6862974/support.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:01.040 --> 00:00:04.559
This program is designed to provide general information with regards

2
00:00:04.639 --> 00:00:07.599
to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

3
00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:12.039
the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

4
00:00:12.240 --> 00:00:17.440
are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

5
00:00:17.800 --> 00:00:21.600
legal counseling, professional service, or any advice.

6
00:00:21.960 --> 00:00:24.039
You should seek the services.

7
00:00:23.519 --> 00:00:28.960
Of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.

8
00:00:36.399 --> 00:00:40.960
Behoy, Captain David Gallimore welcomes you board The Regenerate Show

9
00:00:41.280 --> 00:00:46.479
live Monday's ten am Pacific on KFOHD Radio at kfohd

10
00:00:46.920 --> 00:00:50.439
dot com. We dive into the real messy work of

11
00:00:50.560 --> 00:00:55.679
transforming our lives. Leadership and organizations. Bring your hot mess

12
00:00:55.719 --> 00:01:02.079
and confusion, lead with clarity, courage, and come together. Let's

13
00:01:02.159 --> 00:01:07.519
strengthen our resilience, accelerating the health of ourselves, people, plant

14
00:01:07.799 --> 00:01:14.159
and profits. Now here's your host, Captain Dave, your personal regenerator.

15
00:01:14.519 --> 00:01:15.640
All aboard.

16
00:01:18.840 --> 00:01:24.640
The Boy, and welcome to episode seventeen of The Regenerate Show.

17
00:01:25.400 --> 00:01:28.359
I am so so excited to be here with you.

18
00:01:29.599 --> 00:01:32.719
This show is about creating a space for our guests

19
00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:36.319
to share authentic and vulnerable, true stories about the messy

20
00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:40.879
middle of their transformation. I want to point to hope.

21
00:01:41.959 --> 00:01:45.319
Regenerate is about how you can become somebody who brings

22
00:01:45.359 --> 00:01:49.359
more resilience, purpose, authentic energy to the people you love,

23
00:01:50.400 --> 00:01:54.959
to our communities, or plan our only ship, despite what

24
00:01:55.079 --> 00:01:59.680
others will say about Mars, and it definitely needs our

25
00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:05.000
So what is the definition of regeneration, you may ask, Well,

26
00:02:05.040 --> 00:02:08.240
here's my definition, and it continues to evolve as I

27
00:02:08.360 --> 00:02:13.080
learn and live. The regeneration draws from three point eight

28
00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:18.199
billion years of life zone logic, storing vitality across every

29
00:02:18.199 --> 00:02:23.960
living system we inhabit from ourselves, our families, our teams,

30
00:02:24.199 --> 00:02:29.080
our organizations or communities. So together we can transform beyond

31
00:02:29.120 --> 00:02:34.039
merely doing no harm, which is the definition of sustainable,

32
00:02:35.240 --> 00:02:41.360
lie to becoming like a healthy for us, endlessly generating resilient,

33
00:02:41.599 --> 00:02:47.800
abundant conditions for all life across all generations, really to flourish.

34
00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:51.639
So the secret to regeneration, I believe, is learning from

35
00:02:51.639 --> 00:02:56.319
people who are living it in the mud, fingernails dirty,

36
00:02:57.240 --> 00:03:04.319
in the messy middle, not from the performative summit, looking down,

37
00:03:05.840 --> 00:03:08.960
So doing inner work that I've been doing the last

38
00:03:09.240 --> 00:03:11.560
four and a half years, part of my messy middle,

39
00:03:11.719 --> 00:03:17.639
part of my midlife transformation has been shifting habits and

40
00:03:17.719 --> 00:03:23.000
beliefs and ultimately my identity. So one of the reasons

41
00:03:23.039 --> 00:03:27.319
why I created Regenerate is I'm dedicated to lifting purpose

42
00:03:27.560 --> 00:03:32.800
driven leaders up and connecting them in bonds of love

43
00:03:32.840 --> 00:03:37.840
and adventure and creating leadership and impact my core values

44
00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:43.000
and as a transformational guide in a maritime captain, a

45
00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:46.280
lifelong learner. That's what I've been dedicating this chapter of

46
00:03:46.319 --> 00:03:55.159
my life to. So this theme today is the midlife warrior.

47
00:03:55.560 --> 00:04:00.960
Choose reinvention over decline. What if it exhaustion you feel

48
00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:04.599
in midlife isn't the beginning of your decline, but an

49
00:04:04.639 --> 00:04:09.960
invitation to your greatest reinvention. I love that what if

50
00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:13.759
everything that once energized you running dry is not a breakdown,

51
00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:18.319
but a signal that it's time to become someone new.

52
00:04:19.720 --> 00:04:27.439
For twenty five years, my professional coach and budding friend,

53
00:04:27.519 --> 00:04:31.360
Chris RW has coached top executives to the summit of

54
00:04:31.439 --> 00:04:34.800
their careers and watched many of them arrive only to

55
00:04:34.839 --> 00:04:39.920
ask themselves, is this all there is? To help answer

56
00:04:39.959 --> 00:04:45.079
this and other simple but not easy questions, Chris and

57
00:04:45.120 --> 00:04:49.920
his wife Sarah co developed and co facilitate the midlife

58
00:04:49.959 --> 00:04:54.800
Warrior out of the UK in Wales. During this experiential program,

59
00:04:54.839 --> 00:05:00.160
they reframe the disorientation of midlife is completely normal and

60
00:05:00.399 --> 00:05:05.279
far more than that, it's really the richest opportunity for transformation.

61
00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:10.600
The catches it demands we do things differently. I can

62
00:05:10.639 --> 00:05:13.879
adjust to that, and sometimes it's hard to teach an

63
00:05:13.879 --> 00:05:17.639
old dog Nutrix, but I'm here to point to hope

64
00:05:17.639 --> 00:05:21.680
again that it's worth it. So in this episode of Regenerate,

65
00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:26.240
Chris and I we're going to choose reinvention over to Cline.

66
00:05:26.319 --> 00:05:31.360
We're going to find some clarity when we map things

67
00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:33.879
that are not working to things that could work better.

68
00:05:34.680 --> 00:05:39.160
Why purpose becomes that non negotiable in the second half

69
00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:44.360
of life. If you're new to this show, our promise

70
00:05:44.680 --> 00:05:47.040
is threefold. We're going to have some fun today. When

71
00:05:47.079 --> 00:05:52.000
we're laughing, we're learning to leave you inspired and invite

72
00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:56.360
you to grab a pen, take some notes, and apply

73
00:05:56.560 --> 00:06:00.720
just one thing before you fall asleep tonight, because informations

74
00:06:01.040 --> 00:06:05.839
happen here. So I'd like to bring on now as

75
00:06:06.279 --> 00:06:11.279
our second guest on the Regenerate Show. Second time appearing,

76
00:06:11.279 --> 00:06:15.920
I should say on the Regenerated Show, my coach and

77
00:06:16.360 --> 00:06:17.800
sense Chris.

78
00:06:17.639 --> 00:06:23.399
Ru Well, hello David, very much of those kind words.

79
00:06:24.120 --> 00:06:27.319
So now you are in Wales. Now you and Sarah

80
00:06:27.439 --> 00:06:31.040
moved and are you out of boxes?

81
00:06:33.399 --> 00:06:36.680
Yes, we are out of boxes, although it is amazing

82
00:06:36.680 --> 00:06:38.800
where you still find the occasional one lurking in the

83
00:06:38.839 --> 00:06:43.319
back and think that's where that thing went. Wonderful after

84
00:06:43.360 --> 00:06:45.199
of course you've now replaced the item that you've been

85
00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:48.600
hunting for for the last six months. Indeed, in fact,

86
00:06:49.000 --> 00:06:52.839
strange story new house they redecorating, had to color match

87
00:06:52.879 --> 00:06:56.120
something in the in the kitchen to do a repaint job,

88
00:06:56.600 --> 00:06:59.800
bought the appropriate paint, promptly lost it and have had

89
00:06:59.800 --> 00:07:01.800
to get and read buy it again. What can you do?

90
00:07:02.560 --> 00:07:06.160
Classic, Well, you will feel a little bit better when

91
00:07:06.199 --> 00:07:11.879
I share that I have bought some hair products and

92
00:07:13.399 --> 00:07:18.000
lotions and nail clippers because they're carefully filed away in

93
00:07:18.040 --> 00:07:21.000
a box somewhere in Mason. We're not sure if they're

94
00:07:21.319 --> 00:07:25.439
at one of too many storages or at our cottage

95
00:07:25.720 --> 00:07:30.920
on Lake Cushman. So yeah, it's a thing. So you

96
00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:34.120
inspire me to get out of our own boxes, as

97
00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:36.399
we've just now sold our home which was part of

98
00:07:36.439 --> 00:07:37.120
our medlife.

99
00:07:38.879 --> 00:07:40.560
Congratulations, a nice reinvention.

100
00:07:41.800 --> 00:07:45.839
Indeed, so to help our listeners get to know you

101
00:07:45.920 --> 00:07:49.680
just a little bit better, tell us what that one

102
00:07:49.759 --> 00:07:52.600
thing that you just love to do that just lights

103
00:07:52.639 --> 00:07:53.000
you up.

104
00:07:54.680 --> 00:07:58.839
Well, it's changed you see, you'd have asked me twenty

105
00:07:58.839 --> 00:08:02.839
odd years ago. Then the instant answer was skiing stick

106
00:08:02.920 --> 00:08:05.720
me on the top of a mountain, going down hill

107
00:08:05.879 --> 00:08:08.600
at a rate of lots, where all you can consider

108
00:08:09.279 --> 00:08:14.319
is staying upright. But now having moved to Wales, of course,

109
00:08:14.480 --> 00:08:21.920
it's now renovation and recreation of new opportunities. We're looking

110
00:08:21.920 --> 00:08:24.680
at different ideas and options. Part of the piece and

111
00:08:24.759 --> 00:08:27.600
coming here is as we're going to talk about that

112
00:08:27.839 --> 00:08:30.319
really creating opportunities for people who re look at their

113
00:08:30.360 --> 00:08:34.000
lives and recreate new opportunities and see it as an

114
00:08:34.039 --> 00:08:36.320
open door, not one that's closing, as you've sort of

115
00:08:36.320 --> 00:08:41.120
alluded to. And when you're a coach, you offering coaching

116
00:08:41.159 --> 00:08:44.799
yourself as much as you're coaching your clients. So you know,

117
00:08:45.039 --> 00:08:48.639
I've only last week I was out buying another domain

118
00:08:49.240 --> 00:08:53.600
to think of another creative outlet for doing some some

119
00:08:53.720 --> 00:09:00.000
physical manual labor, as it were, in building and renovation

120
00:09:01.720 --> 00:09:04.320
barrels of all things. How about that for something different,

121
00:09:06.120 --> 00:09:09.360
very therapeutic, totally different. Who knows where that will take it.

122
00:09:10.919 --> 00:09:14.759
Well, it's so great that you are looking at kind

123
00:09:14.799 --> 00:09:20.720
of hands on experiences. My son Ian and I are

124
00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:28.679
very excited to renovate different objects. He's fascinated with metal

125
00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:33.519
tools and metal appliances that often wind up in the landfill. Yes,

126
00:09:33.600 --> 00:09:36.159
and have so much more life in them. They just

127
00:09:36.279 --> 00:09:42.000
need some tender, loving care. And the whole family had

128
00:09:42.039 --> 00:09:44.759
such a great experience. It was a difficult experience, but

129
00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:48.639
a great outcome renovating our home the last two years

130
00:09:48.679 --> 00:09:51.559
and then putting it on the market that I have

131
00:09:51.639 --> 00:09:56.360
ambitions of doing that again with our family, perhaps even

132
00:09:56.840 --> 00:10:00.399
building a home together. So there's something mad your client

133
00:10:00.600 --> 00:10:05.000
about touching and feeling tools and you don't have to

134
00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:08.559
renegotiate the cut that you've made on the barrel plank.

135
00:10:09.120 --> 00:10:14.159
It stays, whereas in so many other aspects of the

136
00:10:14.159 --> 00:10:20.000
work that you and I do, it's just negotiation and persuasion.

137
00:10:21.039 --> 00:10:23.720
It's a good balance and as much as it's creative,

138
00:10:24.200 --> 00:10:27.879
it's an outlet for physicality and when we spend so

139
00:10:27.960 --> 00:10:29.519
much of our time, if you like, in our head

140
00:10:29.519 --> 00:10:32.440
and our hearts, the output and being outside in the

141
00:10:32.480 --> 00:10:35.879
countryside and doing stuff in the fresh air is very invigorating.

142
00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:39.559
And so we're sort of partly practicing what we preach

143
00:10:39.600 --> 00:10:43.559
in terms of retreat creating retreats where people can come

144
00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:46.240
and think about it. We do it ourselves every single day,

145
00:10:46.279 --> 00:10:47.759
thinking about where we're going to do and what can

146
00:10:47.840 --> 00:10:52.279
you do, which is great fun, just you know, being

147
00:10:52.360 --> 00:10:54.360
open to the idea and thinking why not.

148
00:10:55.440 --> 00:10:59.799
Yeah, and you're not that far away from mont Blanc

149
00:11:00.519 --> 00:11:04.759
or other cool it is in.

150
00:11:05.120 --> 00:11:07.879
Ye Europeah absolutely, in fact that you used to get

151
00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:10.240
to zak and Za in Austria and hop on a

152
00:11:10.279 --> 00:11:12.879
plane and you can leave it in the morning and

153
00:11:12.879 --> 00:11:15.399
you can be skiing at lunch time. It's very nice.

154
00:11:16.360 --> 00:11:18.279
Yeah. And if I can get you and Sarah out

155
00:11:18.279 --> 00:11:20.879
to the Seattle area, we could do what I like

156
00:11:20.960 --> 00:11:22.919
to call a surf and turf, so we can go

157
00:11:23.039 --> 00:11:26.240
skiing in the morning and then sailing in the afternoon.

158
00:11:26.679 --> 00:11:28.480
Oh yeah, excellent.

159
00:11:28.639 --> 00:11:33.399
So another question, I kind of purposely limited my own

160
00:11:33.399 --> 00:11:37.399
introduction of you just to allow our listeners to hear

161
00:11:37.480 --> 00:11:42.039
from your own lips, your own words, your own heart.

162
00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:46.480
How did you become the person that you have become?

163
00:11:46.559 --> 00:11:50.440
What's a brief origin story Chris.

164
00:11:50.519 --> 00:11:53.600
Yeah, sure, Well I spent twenty years in the pharmaceutical

165
00:11:53.639 --> 00:11:59.679
industry from carrying a bag up TOPTMD for a farmer company.

166
00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:04.600
And this story is very very relevant now to the

167
00:12:04.600 --> 00:12:07.720
middle life group piece, because effectively it was a case

168
00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:10.639
of how do I what do I do? Do I

169
00:12:10.720 --> 00:12:14.519
actually stay in the organization and become possibly the MD

170
00:12:14.639 --> 00:12:18.360
of that organization, or do I go out and try

171
00:12:18.440 --> 00:12:21.039
my luck with setting up a catching business as somebody

172
00:12:21.039 --> 00:12:23.120
had actually asked me to come and help them establish

173
00:12:23.159 --> 00:12:27.120
a business. And the choice actually sounds fiscal, but actually

174
00:12:27.159 --> 00:12:29.919
it was more like, actually, I've got a three year

175
00:12:29.919 --> 00:12:32.799
old daughter. I was about forty at the time, and

176
00:12:33.559 --> 00:12:35.799
my question was to myself was where do I want

177
00:12:35.840 --> 00:12:39.960
to spend my time? Do I want to be watching

178
00:12:39.960 --> 00:12:42.639
her grow up and visit the school and be there

179
00:12:42.679 --> 00:12:44.399
for games and the like, or do I want to

180
00:12:44.440 --> 00:12:46.080
be on the plane a one hundred days a year,

181
00:12:46.080 --> 00:12:49.639
which was the other alternative. So, needless to say, I

182
00:12:49.720 --> 00:12:53.080
chose the I want to be and be with my daughter,

183
00:12:53.200 --> 00:12:55.879
and as a result, I think I have a fantastic

184
00:12:55.960 --> 00:13:00.960
relationship with her. But more importantly I was able to

185
00:13:00.960 --> 00:13:05.600
strike a balance and in doing that I also recognized

186
00:13:05.799 --> 00:13:09.960
in the early piece about okay, I need some kind

187
00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:14.399
of buffer. I could get a redundancy piece, leadlexit the

188
00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:18.080
organization and give myself sort of six months or a

189
00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:21.919
year cover, which is always useful to do. But you

190
00:13:21.960 --> 00:13:24.399
start to trust yourself, you have to go across the

191
00:13:24.440 --> 00:13:27.919
cliff edge of the institution that you found yourself in,

192
00:13:28.399 --> 00:13:31.080
who has nurtured you. And in my case, I'd basically

193
00:13:31.159 --> 00:13:33.759
grown up with this organization and it's as it been

194
00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:36.919
taken over over the years, but broadly had stayed there

195
00:13:36.919 --> 00:13:40.519
and just grown with it. So I had eighteen twenty

196
00:13:40.600 --> 00:13:45.679
years of safety and security and the knowledge that I

197
00:13:45.720 --> 00:13:49.039
would pretty much guarantee a job unless I was in

198
00:13:49.120 --> 00:13:55.639
a complete idiot. So this was kind of scary. But

199
00:13:55.679 --> 00:13:58.879
the thing I've kept on reminding myself was I have agency.

200
00:14:00.360 --> 00:14:02.840
You know, it doesn't end as soon as the door

201
00:14:02.879 --> 00:14:06.159
shuts of leaving that organization. You can actually do stuff.

202
00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:13.600
It's amazing who knew I did, and me being me

203
00:14:14.039 --> 00:14:19.840
being a sort of hyper sales marketing director and having

204
00:14:19.879 --> 00:14:22.159
been in the farmer industry, I absolutely had to prove

205
00:14:22.200 --> 00:14:25.320
to myself that I was perfectly capable as a coach

206
00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:28.600
and needed to get my first client in anybody but

207
00:14:28.799 --> 00:14:33.360
the pharmacutic industry. So I set out deliberately to prove

208
00:14:33.440 --> 00:14:36.360
that the product IEME was valid, and my first client

209
00:14:36.399 --> 00:14:41.919
was Dell Computers, interestingly enough, so having established proof of concept,

210
00:14:42.080 --> 00:14:44.600
I then went back and continued on and did that

211
00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:47.519
for fifteen well since then, so it's two thousand and

212
00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:49.919
one January two thousand and one till today, so we

213
00:14:49.960 --> 00:14:54.600
are twenty five years plus. But that story is so

214
00:14:54.600 --> 00:14:58.360
so relevant to the conversations that we now have around

215
00:14:58.360 --> 00:15:01.519
Midlife Warrior, because we're I want it. We came here

216
00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:05.000
very deliberately with the idea of helping people who've reached

217
00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:09.279
that forty five fifty fifty five year piece, and they're

218
00:15:09.320 --> 00:15:12.440
kind of going, ah, I always had this dream to

219
00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:17.080
be X fill in the blank. But I'm so safe.

220
00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:19.639
I'm secure. The kids are just about to go to university.

221
00:15:19.639 --> 00:15:20.720
Am I going to help them with the debt? Am

222
00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:21.840
I going to help them with this? I'm going to

223
00:15:21.879 --> 00:15:25.919
do that. Oh dare I leave? Nobody will want me

224
00:15:25.960 --> 00:15:30.759
now I'm fifty. Well in the case, and we also

225
00:15:30.960 --> 00:15:36.679
very very specifically recognized that ladies, particularly notwithstanding all the

226
00:15:36.720 --> 00:15:40.919
other challenges that leadership brings for senior ladies in business.

227
00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:44.679
Then we have the physiological challenge of menopause and perimenopause,

228
00:15:45.039 --> 00:15:49.519
just to add another level of complexity to it. And

229
00:15:49.600 --> 00:15:54.279
so we thought, well, there's an opportunity for conversations and discussions,

230
00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:59.759
and we set up a retreat last year, the pilot

231
00:15:59.759 --> 00:16:03.480
Recht treat effectively on the basis of a ladies having

232
00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:08.799
an intimate group of four people who with my wife

233
00:16:08.919 --> 00:16:13.279
leading the piece. She's an ex medic and executive coach

234
00:16:13.399 --> 00:16:17.480
and yours truly here as well co facilitating this workshop.

235
00:16:18.279 --> 00:16:23.480
And the whole point about this was two, look at

236
00:16:23.639 --> 00:16:26.840
where you are, what your ambition was, what was the

237
00:16:26.879 --> 00:16:30.360
fear that was stopping you, How are you dealing with

238
00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:32.799
the health and safety and well being of yourself now

239
00:16:32.799 --> 00:16:36.440
at this age for right which brings in all of

240
00:16:36.440 --> 00:16:40.840
those for the ladies that also there's complications or physiological

241
00:16:40.879 --> 00:16:45.440
adaptations that are going on. And then how are you

242
00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:48.639
going to fund this dream? The financial scope and we'd

243
00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:54.600
spend we spent three nights, two days on this very

244
00:16:54.879 --> 00:17:00.960
useful driver obviously bespoke conversation and had a fantastic retreat

245
00:17:01.080 --> 00:17:03.360
and the ladies are still talking to each other. They're

246
00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:07.279
still self supporting. They went on and have made changes

247
00:17:07.319 --> 00:17:11.480
to their lives as a direct results of the retreat.

248
00:17:12.440 --> 00:17:16.359
And we've got, you know, the testimonies to show for it,

249
00:17:16.400 --> 00:17:21.200
which is lovely. And all it takes, as it were,

250
00:17:21.319 --> 00:17:25.039
is to stop, is to pause and look and realize

251
00:17:25.079 --> 00:17:27.759
that you have agency and can go forward and you

252
00:17:27.799 --> 00:17:33.359
are not alone. That's the interesting challenge. So that's kind

253
00:17:33.359 --> 00:17:36.799
of where the origin peace, if you like. Coming back

254
00:17:36.799 --> 00:17:41.240
to when I started, I felt that personally, that challenge,

255
00:17:41.480 --> 00:17:44.279
and interestingly, in my career as a coach, in the

256
00:17:44.319 --> 00:17:47.799
first sort of ten years, I had one particular client

257
00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:52.640
who absolutely took me on the basis of helping people

258
00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:56.359
who were passed over but they still wanted to keep

259
00:17:56.640 --> 00:17:59.039
or they were going to be leaving the organization, but

260
00:17:59.079 --> 00:18:01.359
they wanted them to do a cracking job for that period.

261
00:18:01.799 --> 00:18:03.880
How could you do that? And it all comes down

262
00:18:03.880 --> 00:18:07.599
to personal motivations and finding the dream and the ambition,

263
00:18:08.400 --> 00:18:13.839
re energizing people back into creating their personal roadmap so

264
00:18:13.920 --> 00:18:16.839
they once again have direction. So many people have just

265
00:18:16.960 --> 00:18:20.759
lost direction and are settling for what they've got.

266
00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:25.599
So there's a few threads that I would love to

267
00:18:25.640 --> 00:18:29.960
pull with you. First of all, thank you for the

268
00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:32.920
work that you and Sarah are doing on behalf of

269
00:18:33.960 --> 00:18:38.720
really really capable people who might be going through changes

270
00:18:38.839 --> 00:18:42.759
in their health. As you were saying, just the normal

271
00:18:44.279 --> 00:18:47.319
life cycle, if I could call it that, and especially

272
00:18:47.319 --> 00:18:52.720
for women. My understanding, Chris, I've not helped this or

273
00:18:52.759 --> 00:18:58.279
experienced this, but apparently male menopause is a thing. It's

274
00:18:58.319 --> 00:18:58.960
not really.

275
00:18:59.640 --> 00:19:03.519
Yeah, there's there's a slightly different dynamic, of course, and

276
00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:09.839
there's certainly a different physiology, but there is there are

277
00:19:09.880 --> 00:19:17.440
some some similarities I suppose in that sense, but medically speaking,

278
00:19:17.799 --> 00:19:20.000
the from the women, the women have the men cuffed

279
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:25.160
in that sense. It's a genuine normonal piece there, which

280
00:19:25.279 --> 00:19:29.880
and the challenge in the here is that the UK

281
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:33.400
general practitioners and bury In my dad was one, and

282
00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:35.599
I have a great high regard for them, don't know

283
00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:39.640
how that knowledgeable about how to treat it. That the

284
00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:44.200
treatment piece is quite limited, but there are absolutely people

285
00:19:44.200 --> 00:19:48.839
who specialize in this and they do fantastic work. And

286
00:19:48.880 --> 00:19:51.640
if if the listeners did nothing else but looked up

287
00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:55.960
Louis Newsome, if they come across that name, she's an

288
00:19:56.000 --> 00:19:58.480
absolute expert in the area and have clinics throughout the UK,

289
00:19:59.039 --> 00:20:02.759
and if people choose to go, you can make significant

290
00:20:02.839 --> 00:20:05.960
changes to the way that you're dealing and experiencing the

291
00:20:05.960 --> 00:20:09.759
problems associated with that, which enables you to stay in

292
00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:12.359
the game. And why is this relevant Because I had

293
00:20:12.400 --> 00:20:18.440
many conversations with folk who, once the door is slightly open,

294
00:20:18.759 --> 00:20:22.039
are saying, well, you know, I'm just noticing that I'm

295
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:25.079
getting this vacant mind or I'm not I'm not really

296
00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:27.359
concentrating quite as well as I used to, And what's

297
00:20:27.400 --> 00:20:29.319
that all about? And I can't really do anything about it?

298
00:20:29.359 --> 00:20:31.279
So can I really go for that top job? Can

299
00:20:31.319 --> 00:20:33.880
I really be the CEO? If I can't cope with this?

300
00:20:33.960 --> 00:20:36.319
What's going and all the doubt starts to creep in? Well,

301
00:20:36.359 --> 00:20:39.000
the reality is you can and things can be done

302
00:20:39.039 --> 00:20:43.400
about it. But if you don't have the conversation and

303
00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:46.839
take a take the time to look out, then it's

304
00:20:46.880 --> 00:20:49.640
a problem. It's a problem for people. And the last

305
00:20:49.680 --> 00:20:52.079
point I want to make on that is that we recognize,

306
00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:56.960
of course that has a fundamental paradoxical stigma associated with that.

307
00:20:57.519 --> 00:21:01.240
If I raise my hand and say, okay, honestly, i'm

308
00:21:01.279 --> 00:21:04.200
forty eight, I think I'm paramount Apausal. I'm noticing it's

309
00:21:04.279 --> 00:21:07.119
changing the way that my performance is, so I want

310
00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:10.079
to do something about it. And there's something over here

311
00:21:10.119 --> 00:21:13.039
that's saying I put my hand up, they aren't going

312
00:21:13.079 --> 00:21:14.160
to even consider me for the job.

313
00:21:17.839 --> 00:21:21.680
So just to be clear, I did not want you

314
00:21:21.759 --> 00:21:26.680
to think that I was elevating male symptoms to anything

315
00:21:26.839 --> 00:21:32.440
close to female symptoms. And my lovely wife went too

316
00:21:32.440 --> 00:21:36.079
early men a pause and it was really really challenging.

317
00:21:36.920 --> 00:21:42.119
So yeah, it's a whole step function for women, and

318
00:21:42.160 --> 00:21:49.359
as you highlighted, it does give people pause to even

319
00:21:49.400 --> 00:21:53.319
communicate where they are in that part of their life

320
00:21:53.880 --> 00:21:56.839
because then people look at them differently. I've heard that

321
00:21:56.880 --> 00:22:00.680
about answer patients that tell their boss us that they're

322
00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:04.480
undergoing treatment, and you know, people look at them differently,

323
00:22:04.519 --> 00:22:07.880
and then they're kind of Some will say that, well,

324
00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:11.359
that's kind of the end of their growth opportunities, which

325
00:22:11.400 --> 00:22:15.519
is so limiting. The second threat I wanted to pull

326
00:22:15.880 --> 00:22:19.319
was read a book. I'm going to forget her name,

327
00:22:19.319 --> 00:22:21.559
but I'll put her name in the show notes. By

328
00:22:21.559 --> 00:22:26.519
the way, we've rebel our producer is adding some great banners,

329
00:22:26.519 --> 00:22:33.799
so including the Midlife Warrior as well as doctor Louise. Yeah,

330
00:22:33.799 --> 00:22:38.759
she's all over this. I would submit this book. It

331
00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:44.519
was written by a London business school professor lived to

332
00:22:44.559 --> 00:22:48.359
one hundred. I think is the title that midlife I

333
00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:51.799
might lobby a little bit because I'm sixty four, that

334
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:55.599
midlife now could be well into the sixties, so forty

335
00:22:55.640 --> 00:23:01.200
to sixty. I'm just saying because I don't feel like

336
00:23:01.319 --> 00:23:04.880
I'm sixty four. I feel like I'm in my forties.

337
00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:08.200
I don't really feel that that different. Yeah, but the

338
00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:11.559
world does treat us differently. I got aged out of

339
00:23:12.200 --> 00:23:17.039
executive program management at fifty eight and had to or

340
00:23:17.119 --> 00:23:20.599
chose to pivot. Were as great hair valued ah maritime captain,

341
00:23:23.319 --> 00:23:26.319
so well, tell us a little bit about your own

342
00:23:27.519 --> 00:23:33.839
kind of midlife warrior experiences if you as part of

343
00:23:33.880 --> 00:23:36.440
the move to Wales, is that part of the strategy

344
00:23:36.519 --> 00:23:38.920
of your midlife warrior experience?

345
00:23:39.839 --> 00:23:43.200
That's exactly it. I mean the pivot basically in that

346
00:23:43.319 --> 00:23:49.160
sense is go literally move across the country, backed into

347
00:23:49.160 --> 00:23:54.839
another country in order to be able to get the

348
00:23:54.839 --> 00:23:58.200
balance that we wanted because and we talked about don't

349
00:23:58.240 --> 00:24:01.319
talk about retirement, hate the word. We talk about returning

350
00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:05.759
to ourselves. So coming back to ourselves where we can

351
00:24:05.839 --> 00:24:14.079
go and do other things. So the the restoration, if

352
00:24:14.119 --> 00:24:17.839
you like, is illustrated a little bit by my good lady,

353
00:24:17.839 --> 00:24:24.039
as I say, she does these these retreats, and she's

354
00:24:24.119 --> 00:24:26.640
also a Tudor author, so we have a passion around

355
00:24:26.640 --> 00:24:32.680
the Tudor travel guide and Tudor Tudor world, and that,

356
00:24:33.839 --> 00:24:37.640
if you like, as an example of regeneration and rebirth

357
00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:41.480
for me doing I've always liked tech and producing and

358
00:24:41.640 --> 00:24:44.519
creating films and doing reels and all sorts of things

359
00:24:44.519 --> 00:24:49.319
with Instagram. Done it for coaching, and we do films

360
00:24:49.359 --> 00:24:52.000
for supervision and all sorts of bits and pieces in

361
00:24:52.079 --> 00:24:56.039
the coaching world. But for Tudor stuff, I've done a

362
00:24:56.039 --> 00:25:00.880
lot of production on podcasts and films, and we to

363
00:25:00.960 --> 00:25:03.359
kind of a very long story short, there are now runs.

364
00:25:03.400 --> 00:25:05.960
After five years of doing all this and writing novels

365
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:09.039
and having a big following on Instagram and the like,

366
00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:14.599
now runs a tour company and now creates a living

367
00:25:15.079 --> 00:25:19.200
from that tour company as good as her coaching business

368
00:25:19.279 --> 00:25:22.160
was in the past. And that's a very good example,

369
00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:27.359
if you like, of a complete fault fass change of direction,

370
00:25:28.559 --> 00:25:32.279
being open to the idea of what's the passion. How

371
00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:34.880
can I create that and turn it into something that's

372
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:39.279
biscally supportive, But fundamentally it's done out of the passion

373
00:25:39.359 --> 00:25:42.240
for the subject in the first place, and the money

374
00:25:42.279 --> 00:25:45.759
follows afterwards, to which is kind of the way forward.

375
00:25:45.960 --> 00:25:49.319
So one of the essences of midlife Warrior programs is saying,

376
00:25:49.359 --> 00:25:51.960
what is your passion? What is it that you want

377
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:54.599
to do? By the way, life is not a rehearsal.

378
00:25:55.720 --> 00:25:57.640
If you want to do it, Let's have a conversation

379
00:25:57.960 --> 00:26:00.880
for forty eight hours about what would it take for

380
00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:03.559
you to live that dream? What do you actually need

381
00:26:03.599 --> 00:26:07.039
to make that change? And everybody has a dream of

382
00:26:07.079 --> 00:26:10.680
some description, and the question is how can you make

383
00:26:10.960 --> 00:26:16.000
a version of that your reality. So, in terms of myself,

384
00:26:16.599 --> 00:26:24.599
the rebirth or the regeneration has definitely moved from one

385
00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:29.480
percent doing nothing but coaching into trying to do lots

386
00:26:29.519 --> 00:26:34.640
of different interventions, becoming giving back into the coaching world

387
00:26:34.680 --> 00:26:37.880
by being part of the governing body for our governing

388
00:26:37.880 --> 00:26:40.799
body and supporting the coaching world in that sense. But

389
00:26:40.880 --> 00:26:44.960
stepping into the judo world is just a totally different piece.

390
00:26:45.160 --> 00:26:49.400
But we've managed to re engineer it that where you know, effectively,

391
00:26:49.559 --> 00:26:53.119
our hobby is creating a living and the journey for

392
00:26:53.240 --> 00:26:58.680
us to continue on way off into our votage. I'd

393
00:26:58.680 --> 00:27:01.480
see no reason why I can't. I can keep on coaching.

394
00:27:02.039 --> 00:27:05.279
I picked it twenty years ago, around that time, around

395
00:27:05.279 --> 00:27:08.720
this I think, well, coaching is good because age is

396
00:27:08.759 --> 00:27:14.119
not a barrier to coaching. I felt that in a

397
00:27:14.160 --> 00:27:16.279
little bit. Does that makes sense? I think I'm rambling

398
00:27:16.279 --> 00:27:16.440
of it.

399
00:27:17.640 --> 00:27:22.119
Absolutely. Yeah. I love what you said about retirement. It

400
00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:25.720
really is. I think in this day and age, especially

401
00:27:25.720 --> 00:27:31.759
with the modern events and health care and people's commitment

402
00:27:31.799 --> 00:27:36.119
to eating better and sleeping more and movement, I think

403
00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:38.680
there's a lot more awareness and plus most of us

404
00:27:38.759 --> 00:27:44.599
don't have to bang steel and metal and break our

405
00:27:44.640 --> 00:27:50.519
bodies by the time we're sixty five. So what a

406
00:27:50.519 --> 00:27:56.160
great story about Sarah finding her passion or maybe she

407
00:27:56.279 --> 00:27:58.880
had it, but now she's fully expressing it. And then

408
00:27:59.640 --> 00:28:03.319
what I love about your piece in that and Margaret

409
00:28:03.319 --> 00:28:06.839
and I are trying to figure out our own what

410
00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:12.200
does our shared future look like? Co create that together.

411
00:28:12.920 --> 00:28:17.119
You've you've leaned in and are bringing value things that

412
00:28:17.720 --> 00:28:23.480
you enjoy the media producing. I don't want to necessarily

413
00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:33.039
ask you how are you with you know, tutor tights, and.

414
00:28:32.680 --> 00:28:36.839
Oh, I don't mind, I because I do the The

415
00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:38.839
other part of this is and how I actually got

416
00:28:38.839 --> 00:28:41.720
into tutors in the first place, because Sarah was doing

417
00:28:41.759 --> 00:28:45.079
some reenacting and inviting me to come along, because gents

418
00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:48.480
are somewhat of a rare commodity into the reenacting for

419
00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:52.799
the point that you make everybody's comfortable in sticking on hose.

420
00:28:54.799 --> 00:28:58.240
But it's great fun and I do. I was happily.

421
00:28:58.359 --> 00:29:02.400
I've played all sorts of roles of Tudor, including Henry

422
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:04.599
the Eighth believe it or not, Bit with Beard and

423
00:29:04.599 --> 00:29:09.039
what have you, And latterly I play Cromwell and play

424
00:29:09.359 --> 00:29:11.480
nobles and gentry and all sorts of things, and I

425
00:29:11.480 --> 00:29:13.400
do that quite regularly. In fact, I will be going

426
00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:16.920
off in a couple of weeks time to Barklay Castle

427
00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:19.559
and be will be as an event on there. I

428
00:29:19.599 --> 00:29:22.440
should be playing a role and doing some Tudor dancing,

429
00:29:22.759 --> 00:29:25.480
all part and parcel of the whole rich pageantry. It's

430
00:29:25.480 --> 00:29:28.839
all great fun. And also on the tours that Sarah

431
00:29:28.880 --> 00:29:33.240
does get re enactors to come in, including myself on

432
00:29:33.279 --> 00:29:36.680
occasion on some of them and pop up and surprise

433
00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:42.160
the guests and entertain the guests. It's great fun, a

434
00:29:42.200 --> 00:29:44.160
good thing to do in totally different.

435
00:29:46.759 --> 00:29:50.960
So rather than run my promo, Chris, would you be

436
00:29:51.039 --> 00:29:55.079
interested in just doing a brief verbal commercial? And what

437
00:29:55.160 --> 00:30:01.440
I can do is ask rebel to the Midlife Warrior

438
00:30:03.680 --> 00:30:06.519
and I can go to that website, but she's got

439
00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:10.119
to present it. Would that be helpful and just let

440
00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:14.039
people know. Is it purely folks that are local or

441
00:30:14.119 --> 00:30:16.720
do you find people from all over the globe that

442
00:30:17.640 --> 00:30:21.359
been coming to your program?

443
00:30:22.119 --> 00:30:26.519
Yeah, well, I'm happy to have a stab at. That's

444
00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:32.119
basically people come across broadly. It's been the UK based,

445
00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:35.799
although we having said that it depends on where our

446
00:30:35.799 --> 00:30:38.759
client base sits. You know, it's come from our existing

447
00:30:38.799 --> 00:30:41.920
network and most of our clients are UK, but we

448
00:30:41.960 --> 00:30:45.799
do have some European clients and some American clients. So

449
00:30:46.799 --> 00:30:52.240
the scope is effectively open to anybody who's prepared to

450
00:30:52.319 --> 00:30:53.880
jump on a plane and get over here, or we

451
00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:56.759
jump on a train. That one of the ladies who

452
00:30:56.839 --> 00:31:00.759
came to this retreat came down on train from Leeds

453
00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:03.839
seven and a half hour journey to get here. Part

454
00:31:03.920 --> 00:31:06.440
in fact of the process is that it is a journey.

455
00:31:06.480 --> 00:31:09.559
If you're going to do this, it's one of life's journeys.

456
00:31:09.759 --> 00:31:13.559
You're going on your personal lifetime journey of change. So

457
00:31:13.680 --> 00:31:17.440
we actually actively thought about the fact that we wanted

458
00:31:17.480 --> 00:31:20.920
people to have to travel perversely as it sounds, to

459
00:31:20.960 --> 00:31:25.240
get to us, and it would be a little bit awkward,

460
00:31:25.799 --> 00:31:28.400
it would be a little bit long, because you're going

461
00:31:28.440 --> 00:31:31.839
away from wherever your work is. And the point is,

462
00:31:32.279 --> 00:31:34.799
the principle of retreats is to go away into the

463
00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:38.759
countryside where it's quiet. We take people onto the beach

464
00:31:38.839 --> 00:31:43.720
and take people around, walking around the countryside, and it's

465
00:31:43.720 --> 00:31:47.640
open to anybody who has the thought in their head

466
00:31:47.799 --> 00:31:51.440
that is this really all there is is this? Am

467
00:31:51.480 --> 00:31:55.000
I now committed for the remaining fifteen years. Well, if

468
00:31:55.039 --> 00:31:57.119
that's something you want to talk through, and we, of course,

469
00:31:57.480 --> 00:31:59.319
well I'm quite happy to have and I'm certainly not

470
00:31:59.480 --> 00:32:03.200
hapy to have initial conversations, no obligation conversations with people,

471
00:32:03.240 --> 00:32:06.559
just to have a chat about it and see if

472
00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:10.440
they would like to spend some time considering their life

473
00:32:10.480 --> 00:32:12.839
and where they are. The programs are all on the

474
00:32:12.839 --> 00:32:16.279
website that you're very kindly showing Midlife Warrior dot Com

475
00:32:16.960 --> 00:32:20.200
and it's there for those to see. That's how we

476
00:32:20.240 --> 00:32:25.559
do combinations of individual retreats and coaching programs or group

477
00:32:25.640 --> 00:32:28.839
retreats as I've alluded to, for groups of ladies or

478
00:32:28.920 --> 00:32:34.279
gents ultimately who can come back and think about where

479
00:32:34.279 --> 00:32:36.079
they are and where they want to go, what they

480
00:32:36.119 --> 00:32:39.240
want to do. So middlife Warrior dot com that's the

481
00:32:39.279 --> 00:32:43.880
place to go. And if you want to chat, get

482
00:32:43.880 --> 00:32:44.279
in touch.

483
00:32:45.559 --> 00:32:50.799
Okay, love it. That is such a great idea of

484
00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:56.839
leveraging your beautiful new region that you and Sarah are

485
00:32:57.000 --> 00:33:02.440
exploring and figuring out what might be a great experiential

486
00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:06.319
component to the You said it was three nights in

487
00:33:06.359 --> 00:33:06.880
two days.

488
00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:09.200
That's right. So we have a small there's a small

489
00:33:09.319 --> 00:33:12.839
hotel which we take over effectively and it's solely for

490
00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:15.440
the group. If it's a group, and if it's individuals,

491
00:33:15.480 --> 00:33:18.319
then we have and you can see them on the website.

492
00:33:18.359 --> 00:33:21.599
There's sort of I call it them hobbit hats. Can

493
00:33:21.640 --> 00:33:23.119
we look a little bit at the Hobbit Heart in

494
00:33:23.200 --> 00:33:27.880
the Hobbit, But there they're sort of clamping pods where

495
00:33:27.880 --> 00:33:31.200
people can come and we in the evenings we let

496
00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:33.519
people off and they have a quiet evening for themselves

497
00:33:33.519 --> 00:33:35.400
to think about what they've learned through the day and

498
00:33:36.640 --> 00:33:38.400
off if they're on it, if it's an individual one

499
00:33:38.400 --> 00:33:42.720
on one, yes, but otherwise in the group it's just

500
00:33:42.759 --> 00:33:45.480
in the hotel and on at into locale.

501
00:33:48.200 --> 00:33:52.200
I would be very interested in pulling another thread from

502
00:33:53.119 --> 00:33:57.160
from what you've been sharing. This will bring us, you know,

503
00:33:58.640 --> 00:34:02.200
to the second part of our three part series here.

504
00:34:03.240 --> 00:34:07.880
So the threat that I think was so challenging for

505
00:34:08.039 --> 00:34:14.400
me going through my midlife experience was my rewiring of

506
00:34:14.440 --> 00:34:18.360
my identity and as you know, my coach for the

507
00:34:18.400 --> 00:34:23.239
last year in a bit for me, anyway, I put

508
00:34:23.280 --> 00:34:28.039
my finger on my own nose. It was going from

509
00:34:28.599 --> 00:34:36.239
corporate identity where the brand of like an IBM or

510
00:34:36.239 --> 00:34:40.199
a Boeing or a cap Gemini that opens doors that

511
00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:45.679
I didn't really quite appreciate. Well, I was no longer

512
00:34:45.760 --> 00:34:49.480
under that brand and it's now just me myself and

513
00:34:49.519 --> 00:34:55.280
I second part of that identity was title. I mean,

514
00:34:55.320 --> 00:34:58.400
I had a vice president title when I decided to

515
00:34:58.800 --> 00:35:02.840
finally pick the corporate crazy to the curve, as I

516
00:35:02.960 --> 00:35:07.559
like to joke. And so part of my identity was

517
00:35:08.159 --> 00:35:10.760
you know, my parents are proud of me because I'm

518
00:35:10.760 --> 00:35:14.639
a vice president, something that my dad had aspired to

519
00:35:15.320 --> 00:35:19.400
at Boeing, but because of procession or layoffs or whatever,

520
00:35:20.639 --> 00:35:23.440
he didn't rise to that level. So this was me

521
00:35:24.760 --> 00:35:28.280
being able to live part of his dream and part

522
00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:32.719
of the identity was making really good money and having

523
00:35:33.199 --> 00:35:39.360
phenomenal benefits, medical benefits and paid vacation and all of that.

524
00:35:40.719 --> 00:35:45.480
And when you asked or you mentioned that people often

525
00:35:45.760 --> 00:35:49.239
will have one or more fears that caused them to

526
00:35:49.519 --> 00:35:54.559
settle or to remain where they are, even though it

527
00:35:54.599 --> 00:35:58.239
doesn't hit them up anymore. And there's so much more

528
00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:06.119
unfinished business, so much unrealized potential. But I'm telling you, man,

529
00:36:06.159 --> 00:36:08.679
that is a significant just those three things that I

530
00:36:08.760 --> 00:36:13.719
ticked off. The brand, the title, and the money for

531
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:19.159
the benefits. And if you want to add a fifth,

532
00:36:19.199 --> 00:36:24.360
I guess would be selling myself. Great at doing the work,

533
00:36:24.440 --> 00:36:30.239
but telling about what I do just felt really boastful.

534
00:36:30.360 --> 00:36:31.880
And you know, I grew up in a family that

535
00:36:32.679 --> 00:36:35.360
just did good work. It didn't tell them what it

536
00:36:35.880 --> 00:36:38.360
you know, what we were doing. We just we showed

537
00:36:38.440 --> 00:36:41.199
up and we did our work, and that was sufficient,

538
00:36:41.519 --> 00:36:46.400
you know, to feel good about one self. So those

539
00:36:46.400 --> 00:36:51.000
were challenging rewirings. You have any thoughts about we want

540
00:36:51.039 --> 00:36:52.559
a there's.

541
00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:55.320
A maybe slightly generational, I don't know, but there's certainly

542
00:36:55.960 --> 00:37:00.519
a piece around if I work hard, people will see

543
00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:03.199
I'm working hard and they will recognize me and promote me,

544
00:37:03.239 --> 00:37:08.559
which exists within the body of work. But also if

545
00:37:08.760 --> 00:37:15.360
I am seen to be successful, then what does that

546
00:37:15.440 --> 00:37:20.000
look like? And we help people create their road what

547
00:37:20.039 --> 00:37:23.519
we call the roadmap. What's your roadmap from now? One

548
00:37:23.559 --> 00:37:25.880
of the first questions involved in that and helping people

549
00:37:25.960 --> 00:37:29.159
understand what they want to actually do with their life

550
00:37:29.199 --> 00:37:32.920
is what does success look or feel or sound like

551
00:37:33.079 --> 00:37:38.920
for you now? Because everything that's described has been up

552
00:37:38.960 --> 00:37:43.000
to a point, so achieving the vice president, the CEO

553
00:37:43.079 --> 00:37:46.000
of the ND whatever it may sell, director, whatever that is,

554
00:37:47.559 --> 00:37:51.119
has served a purpose for you as an individual. What

555
00:37:51.280 --> 00:37:54.800
is that now? And as we sit here today, notwithstanding

556
00:37:54.880 --> 00:37:58.440
what that's delivered, where do you want to go now?

557
00:37:59.000 --> 00:38:06.000
Because everything that you you recounted represents a historical fact.

558
00:38:07.119 --> 00:38:09.840
So everything therefore is a case of if the fears

559
00:38:09.840 --> 00:38:16.320
are of are trying to maintain or preserve whatever level

560
00:38:16.360 --> 00:38:20.000
you've achieved now. The problem with that, of course, is

561
00:38:20.039 --> 00:38:23.119
that if you're not moving forward then usually falling back.

562
00:38:23.679 --> 00:38:29.239
You can't stand still, and we don't have the energy

563
00:38:29.320 --> 00:38:31.519
of a fifty year old as twenty five at the

564
00:38:31.559 --> 00:38:34.159
endge of a twenty five year old at fifty. We

565
00:38:34.239 --> 00:38:35.800
have experience, and we bring a lot more to the

566
00:38:35.800 --> 00:38:37.960
party in different ways, but we don't necessarily have that

567
00:38:38.000 --> 00:38:42.159
same energy and enthusiasm. Because we've done over twenty years,

568
00:38:42.760 --> 00:38:44.559
we kind of know what's going to happen next, and

569
00:38:44.599 --> 00:38:49.280
the enthusiasm and the energy's gone. So there's a question

570
00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:52.400
about the fiscal question, which is why one of the

571
00:38:52.760 --> 00:38:55.039
quadrants of our weekend is about, well, how are you

572
00:38:55.079 --> 00:38:59.599
going to fund this? There's a personal question for people

573
00:38:59.639 --> 00:39:03.360
to get comfortable the idea that I am going to

574
00:39:04.679 --> 00:39:09.119
reference myself in a different fashion. So if you are

575
00:39:09.119 --> 00:39:12.920
massively externally referenced, by which I mean you pay a

576
00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:16.199
lot of attention to what other people say and you

577
00:39:16.199 --> 00:39:19.199
you how you are viewed, and that's how you get

578
00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:24.000
your validation, that's going to be more of a challenge, right.

579
00:39:24.719 --> 00:39:27.280
So if you're going to set up on your new venture,

580
00:39:27.920 --> 00:39:31.239
then part of that is going to be maybe a

581
00:39:31.400 --> 00:39:38.280
reidentifying how I see myself and what actually now will

582
00:39:38.360 --> 00:39:41.639
success look or feel like for me, and it does change.

583
00:39:42.079 --> 00:39:45.119
I mean, it absolutely does change for people at twenty

584
00:39:45.159 --> 00:39:47.079
five it may well have been important to be able

585
00:39:47.119 --> 00:39:50.639
to run the business. So many mds get to that

586
00:39:50.760 --> 00:39:55.679
age and go I've done that, now, now what almost

587
00:39:55.679 --> 00:40:00.440
by definition because they are very capable individuals, they also

588
00:40:00.480 --> 00:40:05.679
can get bored and they want to do something else. Entrepreneurs,

589
00:40:05.840 --> 00:40:09.559
as you well know, fail more often than they succeed,

590
00:40:10.559 --> 00:40:13.000
but they get themselves up and start again and go again.

591
00:40:14.039 --> 00:40:19.159
And that's a very interesting part of the regeneration process

592
00:40:19.199 --> 00:40:23.159
and the midlife warrior process is recognizing that you have agency.

593
00:40:23.159 --> 00:40:26.199
I've mentioned at the top about having agency that you

594
00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:30.599
can go again, and that success or failure is all

595
00:40:30.639 --> 00:40:33.159
part of the game. We do a lot of work

596
00:40:33.159 --> 00:40:40.280
with biotechs, and biotechts exist on failure, testing pharmaceuticals to

597
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:43.360
the point of what what doesn't work, what doesn't work,

598
00:40:43.400 --> 00:40:46.480
what doesn't work, that does work? You know, we live

599
00:40:46.639 --> 00:40:50.960
on in those in those worlds on failure. It's educational.

600
00:40:53.239 --> 00:40:56.760
So when it comes to personal transformations, then there are

601
00:40:56.800 --> 00:41:00.159
some hygiene factors there of course, some Maslow factors. Where

602
00:41:00.199 --> 00:41:02.719
am I in my life if I'm if I'm just

603
00:41:03.320 --> 00:41:06.239
gone through a divorce and I'm now changing everything and

604
00:41:06.280 --> 00:41:09.719
suddenly my income is halved or my wealth is halved

605
00:41:10.039 --> 00:41:12.800
because of the divorce process or whatever. I now need

606
00:41:12.840 --> 00:41:16.079
to do something else. So you have imperatives from that.

607
00:41:16.880 --> 00:41:21.119
The question is that that time, well, what do you Therefore?

608
00:41:21.159 --> 00:41:22.960
If you want to be the most successful you can be,

609
00:41:23.199 --> 00:41:25.800
you can go with your existing Is that going to

610
00:41:25.800 --> 00:41:27.880
be good enough? Is that still relevant or is there

611
00:41:27.880 --> 00:41:32.559
an opportunity to actually to try something different? Atally? It

612
00:41:32.679 --> 00:41:36.599
just depends on personal circumstances. So there's a there's a

613
00:41:36.679 --> 00:41:43.159
whole multiplicity of identity issues wrapped up in this, and

614
00:41:43.199 --> 00:41:47.599
it's a really very sound point to consider, and it

615
00:41:47.599 --> 00:41:50.199
comes back to some of those early questions that we

616
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:53.639
ask to help people understand how they will see themselves.

617
00:41:53.679 --> 00:41:54.519
So it's a great point.

618
00:41:55.880 --> 00:42:02.079
I think you're spot on with the this roadmap process,

619
00:42:02.599 --> 00:42:05.440
and I suspect that you do something similar to what

620
00:42:06.079 --> 00:42:10.760
I do with clients that are going through change. They

621
00:42:10.840 --> 00:42:14.239
want to leave their current roles, they want to try

622
00:42:14.280 --> 00:42:18.360
something new, they want to pick the corporate crazy to

623
00:42:18.400 --> 00:42:22.440
the curb, whatever they're objective when they're hiring you or

624
00:42:22.519 --> 00:42:27.039
I or Sarah, anybody that's in this world to help

625
00:42:29.039 --> 00:42:31.840
see around the help our clients see around the corner

626
00:42:32.119 --> 00:42:38.239
that rewiring identity. So it sounds simple for me anyway,

627
00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:42.679
it was very, very fraud And I'll put in the

628
00:42:42.679 --> 00:42:46.000
show notes some of the early early guests Mathea Graham,

629
00:42:46.039 --> 00:42:50.679
who helped me do that, and Eckert certainly you have

630
00:42:50.760 --> 00:42:55.800
helped me. But separating you know, I'm not my title,

631
00:42:56.960 --> 00:43:00.519
I'm not three hundred thousand dollars a year. I'm not

632
00:43:02.039 --> 00:43:07.000
IBM or Boeing or Capgemini or some other global brand,

633
00:43:08.800 --> 00:43:15.840
and that there's worth intrinsic to the individual being alive

634
00:43:16.440 --> 00:43:19.360
and being a good person and being in service to others.

635
00:43:19.400 --> 00:43:22.639
And the last thing I'll say, it's really helped me,

636
00:43:22.719 --> 00:43:25.039
and you've been a key part of this as my

637
00:43:26.519 --> 00:43:32.360
executive coach and business coach, and sense is to give

638
00:43:32.400 --> 00:43:40.119
yourself some grace and compassion and to maybe even grieve

639
00:43:40.360 --> 00:43:46.360
the loss of some parts of my identity in particular.

640
00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:50.480
But others right or they're going through this process and

641
00:43:50.519 --> 00:43:56.280
as painful as that can feel in the moment when

642
00:43:56.320 --> 00:43:59.079
you're being supported by somebody else, I don't know that

643
00:43:59.119 --> 00:44:03.440
I could have done this on my own, frankly, or

644
00:44:03.440 --> 00:44:04.559
it would have taken longer.

645
00:44:04.760 --> 00:44:07.800
This is back. And that's a really interesting point because

646
00:44:07.880 --> 00:44:09.960
there are people around who can help you if you

647
00:44:10.000 --> 00:44:14.480
stop to look, and of course fear tends to close

648
00:44:14.519 --> 00:44:18.599
down those opportunities, as in the assumption is there's no

649
00:44:18.599 --> 00:44:21.320
one that can help me, Nobody understands what I have

650
00:44:21.360 --> 00:44:24.920
to deal with, nobody can appreciate that, etc. We have

651
00:44:25.639 --> 00:44:30.239
a name for fear or an acronym faar obviously fantasy

652
00:44:30.360 --> 00:44:35.679
expectations appearing real. Yeah, and we hallucinate effectively and we

653
00:44:35.719 --> 00:44:39.119
act as if it's the truth. And that's the challenge.

654
00:44:40.840 --> 00:44:43.880
But by bringing that back into a conscious awareness, bringing

655
00:44:43.920 --> 00:44:46.039
the fear out into the open, and understanding that that

656
00:44:46.199 --> 00:44:49.760
actually is a possibly very rational fear that was built

657
00:44:49.800 --> 00:44:54.280
up from some experience, but now you're actually taking a

658
00:44:54.400 --> 00:45:00.639
different road by choice, then that gives you some sense

659
00:45:00.679 --> 00:45:04.880
of control over the piece. Yes, loss, Understanding that is

660
00:45:06.119 --> 00:45:09.480
very very useful, and to go through that grief cycle,

661
00:45:09.920 --> 00:45:13.159
associating out Coogler ross is very helpful. Here you get

662
00:45:13.199 --> 00:45:19.440
all sorts of loss, and this is certainly one of them.

663
00:45:19.519 --> 00:45:23.599
But the interesting thing I like the spring, summer, autumn,

664
00:45:23.679 --> 00:45:29.960
winter metaphor because you know you're going through any kind

665
00:45:29.960 --> 00:45:33.480
of transformation. As with the seasons, there's a point of

666
00:45:33.920 --> 00:45:37.920
early creation of the idea, racing growth through the summer,

667
00:45:38.719 --> 00:45:42.320
an autumn harvest, if you like, and then a wintering

668
00:45:42.679 --> 00:45:45.239
of the idea that has to be has to die

669
00:45:45.440 --> 00:45:47.360
or the piece that has to die in order that

670
00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:50.800
I can rebirth something new and put all my energy

671
00:45:50.840 --> 00:45:53.360
into something new in a lovely figure of eight.

672
00:45:55.119 --> 00:45:58.800
Yeah, So when our final third time is never our

673
00:45:58.840 --> 00:46:04.039
friend Chris and our final third of the show, I

674
00:46:04.559 --> 00:46:08.519
would love to just hear maybe one or two stories.

675
00:46:08.519 --> 00:46:11.559
They don't have to be, you know, the named person,

676
00:46:11.599 --> 00:46:14.719
but maybe anonymized, And I'm happy to share just a

677
00:46:14.719 --> 00:46:21.159
little bit of my own positive outcomes because going through

678
00:46:21.199 --> 00:46:25.320
this messy middle it can take a while, and so

679
00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:30.440
I want to have our listeners feel like, Okay, there's

680
00:46:30.679 --> 00:46:38.840
there's some rainbow and silver lining and more sunshine, you know,

681
00:46:39.800 --> 00:46:42.039
maybe not at the end of the process, but even

682
00:46:42.559 --> 00:46:45.599
partly through the middle of the messy middle of the process.

683
00:46:45.719 --> 00:46:48.480
So I'm just curious if you had a story that

684
00:46:48.519 --> 00:46:52.480
you'd be willing to share from the warrior, well.

685
00:46:52.320 --> 00:46:54.400
From the marior point of view, for one of the

686
00:46:54.480 --> 00:46:58.239
ladies springs immediately to mine, who basically was reframing her

687
00:47:01.400 --> 00:47:04.480
her approach and comfort about shifting out of a very

688
00:47:04.519 --> 00:47:08.840
senior position and into moving into one where title wise,

689
00:47:08.880 --> 00:47:12.119
she wouldn't have the same title, but would gain much

690
00:47:12.159 --> 00:47:16.639
better enjoyment and greater scope from what she wanted to achieve,

691
00:47:18.280 --> 00:47:23.920
And effectively she did achieve that. She not only did

692
00:47:23.960 --> 00:47:28.159
she rationalize going for that position, but she achieved the

693
00:47:28.559 --> 00:47:33.079
shift and has loved every minute of it, never looked back.

694
00:47:33.840 --> 00:47:39.679
And it's one of those simple, very simple pieces of

695
00:47:40.400 --> 00:47:45.599
putting the giving the opportunity to frame. I kind of

696
00:47:45.639 --> 00:47:48.119
want to go that way. I want to identify, I

697
00:47:48.159 --> 00:47:51.199
want to make the change, but I'm kind of stuck

698
00:47:51.239 --> 00:47:52.960
in this and if I do that, it could threaten

699
00:47:52.960 --> 00:47:55.079
my family, could threaten my revenue, can threaten this, that

700
00:47:55.079 --> 00:47:58.920
and the other. Do I really want to make the change? Well,

701
00:47:58.920 --> 00:48:00.679
I think I do going through it. But if I

702
00:48:00.719 --> 00:48:04.039
don't change, what happens? What's the fear that's holding me back?

703
00:48:04.079 --> 00:48:08.800
The actual fear is fill in the blank, and the

704
00:48:08.840 --> 00:48:11.000
fear is usually not exactly what you think it would

705
00:48:11.039 --> 00:48:13.159
be in the first instance, or it's a combination of

706
00:48:13.159 --> 00:48:16.239
two or three things. And then identifying that as soon

707
00:48:16.280 --> 00:48:19.679
as you've named it, then it becomes something you can

708
00:48:19.679 --> 00:48:24.000
deal with. So in that case, that was a very nice,

709
00:48:24.159 --> 00:48:30.119
very simple example of somebody who changed their change their

710
00:48:30.159 --> 00:48:34.920
focus and change their approach essentially and moved on. There

711
00:48:34.920 --> 00:48:39.039
are plenty of people who've changed their careers. One guy

712
00:48:39.559 --> 00:48:47.239
I work with decided to excuse the dog, decided to

713
00:48:49.639 --> 00:48:52.320
should he or should he not stay on that particular

714
00:48:52.360 --> 00:48:54.679
career ladder, or should he actually change and go across

715
00:48:54.679 --> 00:48:58.519
into a different part of the organization. And that different

716
00:48:58.519 --> 00:49:00.840
part of the organization was that stepping out of his

717
00:49:01.119 --> 00:49:06.360
technical comfort zone in a pet Patrick chemical company. But

718
00:49:07.280 --> 00:49:12.039
in doing so, it's the old story of you know,

719
00:49:12.119 --> 00:49:15.320
the broader you go, the border experience you gain. Then

720
00:49:15.760 --> 00:49:17.920
some years down the track, people are going to go, yes,

721
00:49:17.920 --> 00:49:20.199
you're capable, and you should be able to go for

722
00:49:20.239 --> 00:49:24.599
the very senior position to VP positions, etc. There's plenty

723
00:49:24.639 --> 00:49:26.360
of the scenarios, but in order to do that, you

724
00:49:26.440 --> 00:49:28.000
have to step out of the current.

725
00:49:29.119 --> 00:49:35.239
Yes, thank you for those two wonderful, wonderful wanted to

726
00:49:35.280 --> 00:49:40.280
hope stories chs. Thank you so much for being back

727
00:49:40.320 --> 00:49:42.719
on the Regenerated show a second time. You always have

728
00:49:43.000 --> 00:49:46.400
some great value. So for our next port of call.

729
00:49:46.559 --> 00:49:49.760
Our theme is transforming Vision into Reality and my guest

730
00:49:49.800 --> 00:49:56.079
will be Marcus Bauer, an Olympian sailor and a fascinating

731
00:49:56.280 --> 00:50:00.639
founder of a software company by the title bull Escape.

732
00:50:01.239 --> 00:50:04.119
And I've been using his software now for about six

733
00:50:04.159 --> 00:50:07.800
months and have found it to be incredibly helpful. So

734
00:50:07.880 --> 00:50:11.400
please join us for episode eighteen next Monday at ten

735
00:50:11.440 --> 00:50:16.320
am Pacific one pm Eastern six pm CET on KFOURHD

736
00:50:16.400 --> 00:50:21.039
dot com on behalf of Chris Rebel Medler, our producer,

737
00:50:21.280 --> 00:50:25.280
and our entire talk for media team. Please stay healthy,

738
00:50:25.880 --> 00:50:31.559
stay safe, We need you. We're better together. Now let's

739
00:50:31.599 --> 00:50:32.519
go regenerate.

740
00:50:34.840 --> 00:50:37.920
Thank you for listening to Regenerate with Captain Dave on

741
00:50:38.079 --> 00:50:41.199
k forour HD Radio. We invite you to give yourself

742
00:50:41.280 --> 00:50:44.440
grace and grace the messy middle and see you every

743
00:50:44.440 --> 00:50:48.599
Monday at ten am Pacific time. Until then, you got

744
00:50:48.639 --> 00:50:48.719
this