April 27, 2026

Adapting to Grief

Adapting to Grief
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Season 1

How do you find a way to regenerate your life when people you love most are suddenly gone? In this deeply human conversation, Capt. David sits down with his dear friend since college, Chris Dietche.

Chris lost his son, Diego, and a few short years later his wife, Ana. Last Memorial Day, David lost his beloved younger sister, Pamela, to her third different cancer. We explore not how we get over grief, but how we learn to live inside it for losses each of us will inevitably face.

REGENERATE is broadcast live Mondays at 10AM PT on K4HD Radio - Hollywood Talk Radio (www.k4hd.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). REGENERATE TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

REGENERATE Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/regenerate--6862974/support.

WEBVTT

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

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legal counseling, professional service, or any advice.

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You should seek the services.

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Of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas. Behoy.

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Captain David Gallimore welcomes your board. The Regenerate Show live

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Monday's ten am Pacific on KFOHD Radio at KFOHD dot com.

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We dive into the real messy work of transforming our lives.

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Leadership and organizations. Bring your hot mess and confusion, lead

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with clarity, courage, and come together. Let's strengthen our resilience,

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accelerating the health of ourselves, people, plant and profits. Now

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here's your host, Captain Dave, your personal regenerator.

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All aboard, Welcome, Happy Monday. I am so delighted to

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be here with you for episode twelve, and the theme

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this week is living inside Grief. How do you find

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a way to regenerate life when people you love most

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are suddenly gone? I think that my friend Chris Dchi

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from college. I can think of no better person to

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help us understand the different layers and the nuances and

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the challenges of living inside grief. Chris lost his beloved

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son Diego, and a few short years later his really funny,

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smart and capable leader wife Hannah, and last Memorial Day,

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I lost my dear sister Pamela. So we're going to

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explore do we ever get over grief? But how do

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we learn instead to live inside it? So from the

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unexpected ways of loss and how it requires our daily

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habits through coping strategies that quietly carry us forward. So

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I believe that there will be at least one takeaway.

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Invite you to take some notes and apply one idea

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from today's show. I know your time will be a

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well spent. So our promise, if you haven't been here before,

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is to have some fun today, because when we're laughing,

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we're learning, and as heavy, deep and real as a

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topic of grief is, there's a way to I think

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approach this with humility and lightness of being. Second, we

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want to leave you inspired and finally invite you to

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take that one idea that you could apply today in

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your life transformations and here, so it's really a privilege

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to introduce my dear friend of several decades, Chris Decci.

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I'll never forget prior to freshman year at our college,

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I was in a bus sitting across the aisle from

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Chris on the way to the freshman conference, which was

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a way to kind of get introduced to college life

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and start to make new friends. And I'll never forget

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Chris's piercing blue eyes and just radiant smile and his curiosity.

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And I think it was probably a good hour trip

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in the bus, and I realized right then that I

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had found a dear friend. And we proceeded to entertain

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three hundred plus freshman with his piano and my piano,

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and I always was impressed with Chris's ability to improvise.

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So Chris, after college explore the theater arts very very

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talented writer a theater as well as performer. We all

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know how challenging that can be. So he had to

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also explore day jobs like legal field and then got

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involved in selling real estate. He earned his MBA in

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entrepreneurship from the University of Texas at Austin, where he

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met his beloved Honor and they proceeded to DC and

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he got involved in various nonprofit executive director roles, including

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the Connections Resource Center, Open Door Preschools, and Any Baby Can.

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He is most recently the deputy Chief Travis County District Clerk.

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He's an executive manager of a large team and a

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wopping big budget. We all know that working in state

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and local government is not for the faint of heart,

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and he absolutely adores his from a professional perspective. Of course,

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is current leader and I'm sure he'll go into a

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little bit of detail about that, so please, without any

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further ado, Welcome Chris.

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Thanks David, and just to update a couple of things.

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I met in in college and then we went to

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d C washingt DC together and then I dragged her

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down to Texas where he had tried to escape earlier

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in her life and ended up. We loved living in Austin,

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or at least I did, and she did the best

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she could. And I'm the chief deputy at the District

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Courts Office. My wonderful boss, Velva Price, is the elected

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official and I was very pleased when she hired me

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ten years ago and we've worked well together serving the

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Travis County community.

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Thank you so much. I appreciate the corrections. Thank you

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keeping the record straight. Like all good deputy clerk.

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Should there you go, there you go.

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So we always like to start the show off with that,

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what's that one thing, Chris that just truly lights you

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up that you love to be or do?

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And I wish I could make I want to answer,

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but of course the easy answer is family and friends,

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starting within in my boys, Diego and Santiago, and then

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the family that's grown through santi I would extend that

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out to all of my family and those friends, especially

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some of the friends who have regenerated with me around

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this loss. So it's interesting how friendships change as circumstances change.

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But then on a personal level, I love art movies,

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I love jazz music, and I have a love hate

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relationship with swimming. The happy moment is when you finish

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exercising and you've gotten past that lazy streak of I

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don't want to get up, but I don't want to

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do this. So that's that moment of pure happiness when

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you have finished doing something active.

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Oh man, I can relate to that. I was working

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on a fence project as we sell our house, and

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every muscle. Every joint was saying, stop, go back under

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the covers, go to bed. But you're right. When you

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overcome that inertia and just find your character, it's a

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great joy when it's when it's done. Plus you get

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a cleaning in the process, don't you. As a swimmer,

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there you go.

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Yeah, And I'm not talking a rigorous swim. I'm talking

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about fifteen or twenty minutes early in the morning. I

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don't wake up and get to it, then I won't

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do it.

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Oh my gosh. That's such the truth, isn't it. Yeah,

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it out of the way early. I find that my

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favorite way of regenerating now is being on the water

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with friends and family and with the new jailing students,

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and I get that endorphin kick and son vitamin D

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and physicality or that out in nature. So I know

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that many of our listeners have their own ways of

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great joy, and but we forget that sometimes in our

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day to day busyness and all of the email and

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all of the slack meetings and just you know, the

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modern day life. For you, water and for me water

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as well.

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Well. And for me it's jumping into the water is

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and I wouldn't say that I'm a water person. It's

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just that's such an at our age. It's a great

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way to actress.

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Yeah, Yeah, Easier on the joints than running, certainly.

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Yeah.

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So I know that we're going to get to know

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each other at a deeper level through this theme that

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we've decided to discuss today. But before we do that,

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what has formed you? What is the couple life experiences?

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And perhaps your word not necessarily a bio, but more

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what's formed you? What's your origin story? Chris Well?

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My origin story is very linked to Anna, my wife,

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my partner in life, who died, even though of course

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I did a lot of growing before I met her

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in college. I come from a wonderful family, but they

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divorced very early and I was an only child until

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my father we marry and had my brother and sister

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much later, ten twelve years after I was born. So

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I was raised as an only child for a lot

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of my existence with one parent. I think that set

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up a lot of there I say, neediness around relationships

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and looking for a partner. And when I found in

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As she filled a lot of things I was looking for,

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and more important, beyond that, she also changed my perspective

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on life. While I was following her around to DC

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and seeing the study of law which she was exploring,

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I learned a lot about community service, nonprofit work, which

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was fairly foreign to me. It was just not something

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in my wheelhouse. And so that that key relationship, which

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is what I then lost a couple of years ago

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when she died, is what actually ties in both to

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the answer to your question, but also the topic of

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this discussion is, you know, how do you take a

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I forced someone who not only was your partner but

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became the family unit and raised children. What do you

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do at our stage of life when you lose that

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partner which you might have thought, yeah, this could happen,

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you never think that it will happen.

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Yeah. I've been married now to Margaret, my friend, best

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friend and soulmate and wife of thirty five years. Still

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in training.

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As she will tell you, I make sure you use

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the words yester dear as much as possible. That helped

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a lot.

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Oh, absolutely, absolutely.

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Whatever the question, just to answer yesteryear it really worked

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its magic.

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Yeah, And I think she's also realized that, especially now

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in our sixties, it takes two brains to be effective

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as we once had one brain in our twenties and thirties.

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And I would argue that a good marriage, you become

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your own entity as a couple. And that's what's star

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wrenching for any of us that go through life and

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aren't the first one to die, which is inevitable for

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all of us as couples. It's very rare to have

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two people die within proximity time wise at each other.

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So this is an inevitable thing that we just don't

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always face and know is going to happen, but unfortunately

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it does happen.

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Yeah, well, that's maybe a great transition to our topic.

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And I really want to tip my hat, my virtual

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hat to you, because I think you came up with

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a really, really helpful expression around living into grief. So

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we're going to kind of tease that out, but i'd

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love to the extent that you're willing, Chris, speak about

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how things started to unfold and with Anna and her

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help and then her eventual passing, and what are some

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of the real challenges that you've had to navigate that

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we can talk a little bit about what lessons you

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might have learned in that process. I want to start

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with honor rather than the air, because obviously we've been

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chatting about her the last few minutes, it seems want

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to honor her as much as possible.

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Well, the strating thing about Anna and her experience was

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she died from ovarian cancer and had a fairly textbook

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relationship with it in the sense that they said, oh,

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the average expectancy is a year for the level of

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severity and unfortunately the late catch of it. And by

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the way, I would put a plug into any additional

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screening that can happen for women with cancer, which I

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think they're coming up with some new new efforts, is

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something I would always hoped that could be increased because

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we as men have a lot of screening, and partly

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it's a cost issue. But in my mind, that's one

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thing I look back with regret is that Ann and

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me and the medical professionals didn't screen things as early

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as we could have and should have. So her life,

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her life with ovarian cancer was a year long. And

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the thing I would say that was so striking is

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she lived so fully. Any of our listeners who knew

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her know that she was just a life force, a wonderful,

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lovely person. And so what was shocking was to go

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through that caretaking year and be by her side and

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not realize that she really could be gone until the

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night she was gone. She lived life so fully that

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on the last day of her existence, she was spending

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it focused on her new grand baby, who's one of

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the other things that drives me positively through life going forward.

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But she had time with her son with a man,

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to her daughter in law with as mate with me

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and died that night after having had one of the

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most beautiful days she had in months, because she gotten

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back home to Austin. She was hoping to come home.

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Unfortunately she wasn't able to get home. But so that

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in a nutshell is both the quick story of her

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death but also an affirmation of an incredible life that

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actually made it difficult to transition from because it made

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me miss her so much, which days to this day.

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Yeah yeah, and thank you for correanting the pronunciation of

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your wife.

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Oh no, she went with both both pronunciations work Anna.

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Anna, Okay, I remember the Ana, but I want to

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be honoring how you.

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I mostly did Anna, but she I mean, I think

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Anna is probably what she would have preferred. But because

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I said Anne all the time. She put up with it,

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and one of my most famous pieces of writing is

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a lot of rhymes with the word banana and other

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things that she I don't think she particularly liked, but

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her friend's got to laugh at.

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That's great. Yeah, So yeah, my recollection of Anna. Anna

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is just this smart, curious, very committed to community and ethics,

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ethical behavior, ethical thinking, very much a critical thinker. I

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remember when we would host you guys coming to like Cushman.

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She was always very willing to push back on something,

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Oh yes that somebody said yes, And I love that

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about her. You know, just a really thoughtful, powerful, curious woman.

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So I can only imagine that year of caretaking must

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have been. Day by day You're just seeing this brilliant

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person start to drop an energy, and you know, pain

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management and just just all of the doctor visits and

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the medications if you decided to go that route.

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And she actually she actually didn't drop an energy. That

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was part of what was striking about her final year.

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The photographs show a deterioration when I look back and say,

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oh my goodness, she was getting weaker and sicker, but

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her energy level never diminished, and she had in her

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last part of her career, she was working with nurses

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to place them in their practicum sessions. So she worked

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with the universities who were training our nursing professionals, and

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with the hospitals who often were competitive for hiring and

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resisted some of the training that they need to do

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that's required for nurses at their full certifications and degrees.

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And what I'm leading up to is that even while

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she was being cared for, she was quizzing and talking

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to the nurses as fellow professionals and respecting and enjoying

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what they were doing and talking about their experience. We

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learned a lot about the struggles of nurses with the

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current medical approaches that a lot of hospitals were taking.

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So my point is, even in her year of being

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cared for, she was very alert to what was happening

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and learning around her. My other funny story about inn

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is I had many a conversation where the dialogue basically went, Anna,

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are you sure you want to say that? I think

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it's great that you think these thoughts, but I really

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don't think you should say that to X personally, And

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her response would be, Chris, are you trying to tell

283
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me not to say things? Are you trying to control

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what I'm saying, to which I would then say, oh, no,

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I get it. You're going to say it, so fine,

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I'll brace myself for the result. The thing was, most

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of what she said was true, so she was a

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little bit of a truth teller. The problem was sometimes

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it was hard for those of us that loved her

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to hear the truth and to realize, oh, my goodness,

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I have taken a rather awkward approach to this part

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of my experience.

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You know, that is so my experience of her as well,

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and you know, just kind of taking a step time

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out of time for a sec. She's with us right now.

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Stories that we tell, and I think that for our listeners.

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You know, if you have somebody who's recently passed, and

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you wonder, do I talk out them? Do I not

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talk about them? Is it too painful? How are others

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going to react? In my experience, the stories that we

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00:18:07.599 --> 00:18:11.200
tell about our loved ones that have passed, they live on.

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00:18:11.640 --> 00:18:14.480
And you talk about them because the alternative is to

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00:18:14.519 --> 00:18:18.680
squelch what's bubbling inside of you and missing the people. Yeah.

304
00:18:18.839 --> 00:18:22.160
Yeah, So talk a little bit about after her passing.

305
00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:25.519
What was that like? Were you rudderless. Did you just

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00:18:25.680 --> 00:18:28.319
double down on work, which is typical of guys. What

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did you do next?

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Well, I think this is where it gets to some

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common themes that are worth this session and sharing and

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extending to other people's experiences because what I found and

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this was I think similar for a lot of my

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patriots and grief groups. I've used grief groups quite a

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bit the last year. I didn't want to do it

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the first year, but I think there's an adrenaline or

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an over exaggeration of I gotta do this. I got

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00:18:55.599 --> 00:18:57.079
to take care of this. I got to go to probate,

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I got to talk to all of her friends. For me,

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I got to obsessed with her eulogy, which I personalized

319
00:19:03.160 --> 00:19:06.000
and tried to speak in her voice, which was fine,

320
00:19:06.519 --> 00:19:10.599
but it also was a little manic and frantic. Finds

321
00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:12.000
me a little bit of my San Diego in the

322
00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:16.720
sense of the energy that was overpowering any ability to

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grieve or sit with sadness. And I had really good

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friends Marie and Marty come down, and at first I

325
00:19:23.400 --> 00:19:26.039
was annoyed because I didn't want to be distracted from

326
00:19:26.039 --> 00:19:29.400
writing the eulogy and focusing on that. But when they arrived.

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They were a huge relief to just have someone to

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sit with, because the other thing that's an enormous factor

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00:19:34.640 --> 00:19:39.319
immediately is as if any for those of us that

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has experienced a good marriage, we are devastated when suddenly

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we're alone because we didn't choose to be alone. That

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doesn't mean marriage is easy. It doesn't have its challenges,

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but we chose to be married, stay married, have children,

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and hoped to in it, in my case, retire into

335
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activities together. We had spent month in San Francisco area

336
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where I got to work remotely, and that was going

337
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to be our pattern, was to ease into retirement with travel.

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I'm now talking a bit fast, but what I'm representing

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in talking fast is exactly how I falled after Guide,

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00:20:17.079 --> 00:20:20.359
which was somewhat frantic shocked. It took about a year

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to really get to a status of not so much

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00:20:24.000 --> 00:20:27.119
living day to day but letting myself come back to grieving,

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which means sitting. And my best example is waking up

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in the morning and I've had a moment where the

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sun hits my face and I'm flooded with grief and

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memories because of the vulnerability of waking up, but in

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my first year, I wouldn't have sort of sat with

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the sun and let myself just meditate on where I'm at,

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which is bad. So that's an introduction, but by extension,

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there are all sorts of ways that I think all

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of us instinctively get over preoccupied, at least us guys,

352
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especially with activity and things that we have to do

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to take care of things, clean up the house, to

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sort the house, maybe, to move, to switch cars, all

355
00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:05.759
this kind of.

356
00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:10.960
Yes, yeah, there are so many pulls on your time

357
00:21:12.039 --> 00:21:16.359
upon the death of someone. I remember when my dad

358
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died in twenty twelve, I was the executor of his estate,

359
00:21:19.920 --> 00:21:24.240
and you said, there's all this communication and legal stuff,

360
00:21:24.359 --> 00:21:28.319
and it's easy, isn't it to kind of get pulled

361
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into the busyness of all of those activities. And then

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to your point a year later, you are now really

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in the grief and the emotion. And you know, you

364
00:21:40.319 --> 00:21:43.599
just touch me very very deeply when you talk about

365
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the sun rising and hitting your face, and your lifetime

366
00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:53.119
partner is not beside you, right, and the loneliness that

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creeps in or floods in maybe is more apt.

368
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And what I would note about that is it's not

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00:22:00.279 --> 00:22:03.680
something I had ever experienced before. So what's weird about

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00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:09.200
losing our loved ones is that while it's deeply awful,

371
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there are new experiences that are not so much fulfilling.

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It's just you've got to go with the flow, in

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00:22:15.359 --> 00:22:17.759
the sense of let the sun hit your face, let

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the emotions come, and sit with it instead of jumping

375
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up out of your chair and running to get coffee.

376
00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:29.720
Yeah. I think that self respect to really be attentive

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to the emotions, and as challenging as that is and

378
00:22:34.480 --> 00:22:40.119
painful at times, not to just escape it by being busy.

379
00:22:40.640 --> 00:22:43.920
Yeah. Another thing I did to cope that I would

380
00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:49.680
offer as an interesting transition step is that I about

381
00:22:49.720 --> 00:22:52.359
about the six month mark, we had our college reunion,

382
00:22:52.359 --> 00:22:54.359
which and had made me promise to go to, which

383
00:22:54.400 --> 00:22:56.839
I doesn't mean I had to do it, but I

384
00:22:56.920 --> 00:23:00.839
chose to drive from Texas to Connecticut for college reunion,

385
00:23:00.920 --> 00:23:03.079
then to see some friends along the way, and I'd

386
00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:06.359
hoped to see some friends on the way back. That

387
00:23:06.559 --> 00:23:10.640
journey of driving forced a move away, and the thing

388
00:23:10.680 --> 00:23:13.480
that I remember saying to myself was, Oh, I don't

389
00:23:13.519 --> 00:23:15.079
want to do this trip. I don't want to go

390
00:23:15.119 --> 00:23:17.720
to reunion. I don't want to leave my house. And

391
00:23:17.759 --> 00:23:19.960
then I said to myself, well, Chris, why don't you

392
00:23:19.960 --> 00:23:22.079
want to leave the house? And I said, Oh, I

393
00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:24.799
don't want to leave Anna, which was the moment I realized, oh,

394
00:23:24.799 --> 00:23:26.440
my goodness, I got to get out of this house

395
00:23:26.759 --> 00:23:30.359
and is not here. Staying in the home to commune

396
00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:32.880
with her memory is not the best thing to be doing.

397
00:23:32.920 --> 00:23:33.400
At the point.

398
00:23:33.720 --> 00:23:36.279
Doesn't mean that changed my life, but it did help

399
00:23:36.440 --> 00:23:37.960
do something completely different.

400
00:23:38.119 --> 00:23:41.000
Yeah, So Chris, we're going to take just a brief

401
00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:47.200
commercial break, so please stay tuned for more of Chris's insights,

402
00:23:47.200 --> 00:23:49.720
and we're going to pivot a little bit more toward

403
00:23:50.200 --> 00:23:54.440
the loss of Chris's son, Diegle. We'll be right back.

404
00:23:57.079 --> 00:24:01.680
You're listening to Regenerate with Keptain Dave, personal regenerator on

405
00:24:01.880 --> 00:24:03.200
KFOHD Radio.

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00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:04.759
We'll be right back.

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00:24:08.519 --> 00:24:12.440
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Are you ready to regenerate and

408
00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:16.960
live the life of your dreams? Start the transformation now?

409
00:24:17.559 --> 00:24:21.039
Call Captain Dave at two five three two three seven

410
00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:27.279
two five five eight. Stop overthinking again Call two five

411
00:24:27.400 --> 00:24:31.880
three two three seven two five five eight, or go

412
00:24:31.960 --> 00:24:37.720
to Regenerativeworldgroup dot com to book a free no obligation.

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00:24:38.039 --> 00:24:44.279
Clarity call. Let's get back to regenerate right here on

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00:24:44.359 --> 00:24:49.839
KFOURHD Radio for more life changing transformations. Here's your host,

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00:24:50.240 --> 00:24:52.759
Captain Dave, your personal regenerator.

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00:24:54.039 --> 00:24:57.279
Welcome back if you're just now joining us. I've been

417
00:24:57.400 --> 00:25:00.759
speaking with my dear friend from college, Christy. She on

418
00:25:00.880 --> 00:25:04.880
the theme of living inside grief, and we've been chatting

419
00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:10.480
about the loss of his beloved Anna and the challenges

420
00:25:10.599 --> 00:25:15.680
of not letting busyness and activity kind of put off

421
00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:19.480
the important work of grieving, which is to live in

422
00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:22.680
the moment and the emotions well up could be triggered

423
00:25:22.680 --> 00:25:27.200
by a picture, a song, a smell, an activity, and

424
00:25:27.359 --> 00:25:31.119
you're no longer with your your best friend. And now, Chris,

425
00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:33.880
let's maybe if unless there's something else that you'd like

426
00:25:33.960 --> 00:25:38.839
to feel complete about your grieving process with with Anna.

427
00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:42.200
I'd love to if you're willing talk a little bit

428
00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:48.000
about your son Diego and share how that was different

429
00:25:48.359 --> 00:25:50.799
and anything that you want to add to feel complete

430
00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:52.960
about your grieving with Anna.

431
00:25:53.599 --> 00:25:56.000
No, but I'll run. I'll run with the shift because

432
00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:59.720
they circle back and are very tied together. And the

433
00:26:00.039 --> 00:26:03.759
reason is I would introduce things as follows. Diego had

434
00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:08.079
severe bipolar disorder. What that meant is when he went manic,

435
00:26:08.119 --> 00:26:11.359
he basically entered a form of schizophrenia where he was

436
00:26:11.400 --> 00:26:14.160
completely out of touch with reality, and because it lasted

437
00:26:14.480 --> 00:26:18.200
for several days or weeks, the eventual treatment for him

438
00:26:18.279 --> 00:26:21.480
was to treat the underlying schizophrenia that occurred in his

439
00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:25.599
states of mania. Unfortunately, that's also what killed him, because

440
00:26:25.759 --> 00:26:28.960
in my mind, in his final days, he was thinking

441
00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:32.279
that he was probably in some kind of spaceship flying

442
00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:35.440
across the road, when actually he was driving a car

443
00:26:35.599 --> 00:26:39.440
and caused an accident which killed him for another person

444
00:26:39.480 --> 00:26:43.559
who luckily recovered, but that was a tragic part of

445
00:26:43.920 --> 00:26:47.440
his death. What I wanted to shift to immediately is

446
00:26:47.480 --> 00:26:51.440
that it's so different to lose a child. The thing

447
00:26:51.480 --> 00:26:55.359
about losing your partner is, even though it crushes you

448
00:26:55.440 --> 00:26:58.839
in his life changing, there's an element of it's part

449
00:26:58.880 --> 00:27:02.359
of the bargain. If you meet your partner. You may

450
00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:04.759
not know it, but it's one of you's going to die.

451
00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:07.039
In a way, You're lucky if you go first, because

452
00:27:07.039 --> 00:27:09.119
then you don't have to do the soul searching and

453
00:27:09.319 --> 00:27:16.119
tragic experience of losing your better half. But when you

454
00:27:16.160 --> 00:27:19.200
lose a child. The problem is that it's kind of you.

455
00:27:19.480 --> 00:27:21.880
You can never really completely deal with it. And my

456
00:27:22.720 --> 00:27:25.680
example is when Diego died, I felt like I was

457
00:27:26.319 --> 00:27:29.039
like in the movies where you see someone jumping into

458
00:27:29.079 --> 00:27:33.319
the grave where their loved one is, or diving onto

459
00:27:33.319 --> 00:27:35.839
the coffin to take me with you, Take me with you.

460
00:27:36.839 --> 00:27:40.279
In my grief group, I had a follow traveler who

461
00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:44.319
when his loved one died, His version was I don't

462
00:27:44.319 --> 00:27:45.640
know what to do. I don't know what to do.

463
00:27:46.400 --> 00:27:48.640
And I think when you lose a child, not only

464
00:27:48.680 --> 00:27:50.200
do you not know what to do, but you really

465
00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:53.079
can't fully face it. I would argue you can't ever

466
00:27:53.519 --> 00:27:56.839
fully face it. So I'm not trying to avoid talking

467
00:27:56.880 --> 00:27:59.319
about Diego, but I am trying to circle back to

468
00:28:00.039 --> 00:28:02.839
what I think is the second half of this session

469
00:28:03.000 --> 00:28:08.359
or discussion around coping and dealing with grief, and in

470
00:28:08.400 --> 00:28:11.319
my mind admitting that the loss of a child is

471
00:28:11.400 --> 00:28:14.680
much harder to sort of fathom or come to terms with.

472
00:28:14.759 --> 00:28:17.519
And I would argue, part of what you do in

473
00:28:17.559 --> 00:28:19.680
that type of losses you don't come to terms with it.

474
00:28:19.720 --> 00:28:23.799
My other example is I can't easily read Diego's journals

475
00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:26.559
partly because of the chaos of them, but I go

476
00:28:26.640 --> 00:28:28.960
to try to read them, and I usually immediately stop.

477
00:28:29.359 --> 00:28:32.559
Whereas I found one of Anna's journals from before I

478
00:28:32.599 --> 00:28:34.920
met her, and it was fascinating to sort of extend

479
00:28:35.039 --> 00:28:37.720
my experience with her, to know more about what she

480
00:28:37.880 --> 00:28:40.720
was doing in the years before she and I were together.

481
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:42.640
And the other thing is is I think about her

482
00:28:43.119 --> 00:28:46.079
mostly every day a lot of the day, not in

483
00:28:46.119 --> 00:28:49.079
an obsessive way, but she's with me all the time,

484
00:28:49.480 --> 00:28:53.039
Whereas with the loss of Diego it's a much more painful,

485
00:28:53.480 --> 00:28:55.839
difficult thing to even look at, much less try to

486
00:28:55.880 --> 00:28:57.160
experience on a daily base.

487
00:28:57.319 --> 00:29:04.000
So I understand perfectly what the distinction is my own

488
00:29:04.039 --> 00:29:07.640
experience with losing my sister, though she's not a child

489
00:29:08.039 --> 00:29:09.440
of Margaret's and mine.

490
00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:13.839
I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that lost David.

491
00:29:14.039 --> 00:29:17.319
Yeah, thank you. She grew up, you know, with me,

492
00:29:17.599 --> 00:29:21.039
we were only twenty one months apart. My parents kind

493
00:29:21.039 --> 00:29:23.039
of helped me back a little bit, and they pushed

494
00:29:23.079 --> 00:29:25.880
her forward a little bit. I think could eased their parenting.

495
00:29:26.440 --> 00:29:30.759
And she was so Pamela is her name, so so

496
00:29:30.920 --> 00:29:36.640
capable as an athlete skiing and tennis, and a ballerina

497
00:29:36.759 --> 00:29:42.039
and a pianist and loudest, very very good project manager

498
00:29:42.480 --> 00:29:46.880
managed me quite often, which I but she was usually

499
00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:49.759
right about, Hey, we need to get on this thing

500
00:29:49.799 --> 00:29:52.680
with Lake Cushman, which you and the kids have seen.

501
00:29:53.200 --> 00:29:58.319
And I am so freakin mad that she's dead, a

502
00:29:58.400 --> 00:30:04.160
whole different emotional angst about that, And you're right, I

503
00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:07.440
don't think I'll ever get over that. Whereas death of

504
00:30:07.480 --> 00:30:09.920
my father, my mom, who's now in.

505
00:30:09.880 --> 00:30:12.559
Hospice, I'm sorry, eight eighty.

506
00:30:12.279 --> 00:30:16.400
Five year old father, great life, ninety six year old

507
00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:20.920
mom extraordinary life. And when it's a child and they're

508
00:30:20.960 --> 00:30:27.200
taken way earlier than they deserved, there's that greater sense

509
00:30:27.240 --> 00:30:29.400
of potential that was lost.

510
00:30:29.799 --> 00:30:33.920
Yes, and then it all mixes up because, just as

511
00:30:33.960 --> 00:30:37.759
you said, a sister is closer to our age, so

512
00:30:38.759 --> 00:30:41.839
he's an older person, but not through her life. And

513
00:30:41.880 --> 00:30:45.319
that's and same. Anna died too young. But it was

514
00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:48.960
a fuller life than what Diego had. Diego had a

515
00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:52.359
split life. Half of it was normally developing, half of

516
00:30:52.400 --> 00:30:57.480
it was in his adapt adaptation to having severe bipolar disorder.

517
00:30:57.599 --> 00:31:00.920
So this is where it all gets quite complicated. But

518
00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:03.680
I also think how we cope with any forms of

519
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:09.400
grief can be sharable and worthy of discussion again, because

520
00:31:09.519 --> 00:31:12.079
most of us, unless we live a short life, are

521
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:16.160
going to experience some really traumatic grief as we as

522
00:31:16.200 --> 00:31:17.759
we can live.

523
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:21.720
Yeah. So one of the things that just popped into

524
00:31:21.720 --> 00:31:25.839
my heart and mind as you just said that last

525
00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:30.680
couple of words is both both Diego and I want

526
00:31:31.079 --> 00:31:34.759
you to be happy. You do. You believe that, sure,

527
00:31:35.119 --> 00:31:40.000
but but I also think that's too easy a starting point,

528
00:31:40.119 --> 00:31:43.000
So I would wonder where you're going with that. Yeah,

529
00:31:43.119 --> 00:31:46.839
so so let's let me uh kind of expound on that.

530
00:31:46.680 --> 00:31:50.440
That idea that you mentioned that you know they're with

531
00:31:50.480 --> 00:31:53.960
you at at all times, some you know, Ana more

532
00:31:54.039 --> 00:31:57.440
than than Diego. I understand that difference and the journaling

533
00:31:57.480 --> 00:32:01.200
and the pain there, and I understand that difference and

534
00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:07.559
the grieving process I think is maybe evolved over the

535
00:32:07.599 --> 00:32:10.480
millennia that human beings have been developing.

536
00:32:10.960 --> 00:32:14.000
Yeah, so start interrupt, But here's here's where I would

537
00:32:14.039 --> 00:32:18.920
take it. The difficulty most of us face in my situation,

538
00:32:19.119 --> 00:32:22.880
which many of us, putting you will will and have experienced,

539
00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:26.920
is the balance between and now I'm going to talk broadly,

540
00:32:27.000 --> 00:32:29.680
but I think it's it's my main point. There's an

541
00:32:29.680 --> 00:32:32.880
instinct to collapse, to go into a hole, to not

542
00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:35.240
come out, to not leave your home. In the case

543
00:32:35.279 --> 00:32:37.000
of my trip, it was kind of got to get

544
00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:39.519
your butt out of this house because he is not here.

545
00:32:39.920 --> 00:32:42.559
So there's a pull downward. And the same thing when

546
00:32:42.759 --> 00:32:47.000
when I grieved Gyego, I avoid being pulled towards death

547
00:32:47.400 --> 00:32:50.839
because that's how it feels to think about. And yet

548
00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:55.279
when I say I enjoy the light and contemplate grief

549
00:32:55.319 --> 00:32:58.400
and missing in and missing Gyego, which which sounds nice,

550
00:32:58.759 --> 00:33:03.640
But there's this weird balance between meditative letting your feelings

551
00:33:03.680 --> 00:33:10.079
be there, and the hyperactivity of recovery regenerating, which is

552
00:33:10.079 --> 00:33:14.720
your theme, David. The challenge is to find that, as

553
00:33:15.400 --> 00:33:17.000
as you said in our notes ahead of this, the

554
00:33:17.039 --> 00:33:21.920
messy middle, where you're not passively sitting around not doing anything,

555
00:33:22.200 --> 00:33:26.000
but you're also not going going crazy with too much activity.

556
00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:29.160
And that's a that's to me, the challenge for not

557
00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:32.119
just for grieving, but sort of making the most effective

558
00:33:32.440 --> 00:33:36.720
life as possible. And one of my examples is work

559
00:33:37.119 --> 00:33:40.960
and the idea of retirement. The challenge to me is, Okay,

560
00:33:41.039 --> 00:33:43.720
I like working, it gives me structure. What is it

561
00:33:43.759 --> 00:33:46.599
I would be doing in retirement, which is a whole

562
00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:49.640
other can of worms, a whole other session on retirement.

563
00:33:49.759 --> 00:33:53.359
But I think here, here's what I was leading up to.

564
00:33:53.880 --> 00:33:57.079
My first instinct when I lost In in particular, was

565
00:33:57.119 --> 00:33:59.000
to say yes to all my friends who invited me

566
00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:01.440
to do anything you want to go out to dinner? Yes,

567
00:34:01.839 --> 00:34:04.079
Why to get myself out of my house, to get

568
00:34:04.119 --> 00:34:06.599
out of and I had so much time alone. But

569
00:34:06.640 --> 00:34:09.679
the challenge is actually not it doesn't stop there. The

570
00:34:09.719 --> 00:34:13.599
next step, I think is to create my own activities

571
00:34:13.760 --> 00:34:17.519
and extend my current friends and family with What do

572
00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:21.320
I do next? How do I translate the energy of

573
00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:27.079
a couple and a family into solo to some extent life.

574
00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:30.159
Obviously I have a lot of channel into my remaining

575
00:34:30.199 --> 00:34:35.039
family with Santi and Amanda and Desme and a future child.

576
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:39.360
So all of that is exciting, and I would argue

577
00:34:39.400 --> 00:34:42.760
that's the sustaining part of Diego and Ina with me

578
00:34:42.880 --> 00:34:47.559
as I channel them through the continuing family experience. But

579
00:34:47.599 --> 00:34:51.039
then the other challenges, what does Christici want to do

580
00:34:51.719 --> 00:34:56.960
that's from his solo activities still including In and Diego

581
00:34:57.039 --> 00:35:00.159
and all of those memories and family life, But what

582
00:35:00.199 --> 00:35:03.360
are the activities that are that become mine, which right

583
00:35:03.400 --> 00:35:09.159
now are were music, art, movies, exercise, changing how I eat,

584
00:35:09.440 --> 00:35:13.039
but to some extent that has to regenerate. And by

585
00:35:13.079 --> 00:35:15.920
the way, I want to add, one of the thoughts

586
00:35:16.039 --> 00:35:19.320
I came to around regenerating was the idea of a

587
00:35:19.360 --> 00:35:22.960
recreating a forest, where it's not just a natural growth

588
00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:26.079
of seeds planted. But the idea of regenerating is that

589
00:35:26.159 --> 00:35:29.679
you consciously take steps and in this case, to replant

590
00:35:29.679 --> 00:35:32.440
a forest, you plant the seeds or the seedlings, you

591
00:35:33.119 --> 00:35:38.079
recreate that forest. There's an element of spurt, spiritual rebirth

592
00:35:38.320 --> 00:35:42.480
or regeneration of a loss, in the case of biology,

593
00:35:42.480 --> 00:35:44.840
a lost limb. All of that, to me is the

594
00:35:44.960 --> 00:35:49.280
challenge of really trying to channel your theme, which is

595
00:35:49.519 --> 00:35:53.360
to regenerate, but within what you have experienced to know,

596
00:35:53.639 --> 00:35:55.719
and within within a lot of sorrow.

597
00:35:56.280 --> 00:36:01.719
I love that reference to the forest when you and

598
00:36:01.880 --> 00:36:05.400
and the boys visited like Cushman, we're just a couple

599
00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:11.079
of miles away from the Olympic National Rainforest. Forty two

600
00:36:11.159 --> 00:36:14.559
inches of rain in Seattle, sixty six a year in

601
00:36:14.760 --> 00:36:19.440
like Cushman, and three hundred plus in the Olympic Mountains

602
00:36:19.519 --> 00:36:23.079
in the Olympic rainforest, and there's as much death and

603
00:36:23.079 --> 00:36:28.000
decaying in the forest as there is new seedlings and

604
00:36:29.079 --> 00:36:32.360
rising trees that are going to become, you know, three

605
00:36:32.440 --> 00:36:35.599
hundred feet tall and twenty feet in diameter. And it

606
00:36:35.679 --> 00:36:40.679
takes that whole ecosystem, doesn't it, to create a thriving forest.

607
00:36:40.719 --> 00:36:43.280
And so what I'm hearing you say is you're finding

608
00:36:43.320 --> 00:36:49.719
your way forward to live a life that is meaningful

609
00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:55.360
for you and serves others while honoring and Diego and

610
00:36:56.159 --> 00:37:00.320
finding that balance is a day for day opportunity to

611
00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:04.000
mess up or to also find joy in the moment.

612
00:37:04.400 --> 00:37:06.480
Yeah, and in essence, we do the best we can.

613
00:37:06.880 --> 00:37:09.519
But I agree that that's that's the messy middle, and

614
00:37:09.559 --> 00:37:13.880
that's the that's the way many of us try to

615
00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:15.440
move forward while grieving.

616
00:37:15.679 --> 00:37:20.280
So I wonder, Chris, given your you know, struggles like

617
00:37:20.400 --> 00:37:25.519
I have with writing, I suspect that you've been journaling

618
00:37:26.239 --> 00:37:30.480
to help process. Have you have you considered in your

619
00:37:30.760 --> 00:37:36.400
next adventure to write a play or write a screenplay

620
00:37:36.519 --> 00:37:41.360
or something creative that honors on in Diego. The maybe

621
00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:43.159
that's this part of the is it could be a

622
00:37:43.199 --> 00:37:46.639
fictionalized story of the life that you have been living.

623
00:37:47.320 --> 00:37:50.559
I love the idea, I don't know whether I will

624
00:37:50.599 --> 00:37:53.599
carry it out, and that's sort of the way I

625
00:37:53.599 --> 00:37:57.360
think we all need to consciously and practically look back

626
00:37:57.440 --> 00:38:02.119
on our dreams and goals. For me, the theater arts

627
00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:05.760
are still the essence of who I am. I've used

628
00:38:06.119 --> 00:38:10.360
I've used communication and writing skills in general management, and

629
00:38:10.440 --> 00:38:14.000
I've loved my career. I sometimes wonder why I didn't teach,

630
00:38:14.079 --> 00:38:16.199
because I think that might have been more directly linked

631
00:38:16.239 --> 00:38:18.679
to some of the things I loved. But what's need

632
00:38:18.840 --> 00:38:23.199
is to take what we enjoy in our relationships and

633
00:38:23.239 --> 00:38:26.360
studies and find a version of it that still pays

634
00:38:26.360 --> 00:38:30.719
the bills. And likewise, I did nonprofit management for twenty

635
00:38:30.800 --> 00:38:34.320
years and loved that, really liked the direct impact on

636
00:38:34.400 --> 00:38:38.480
the community. Wasn't delivering the services. I was supporting the

637
00:38:38.519 --> 00:38:42.480
early education professionals that were delivering the services to families.

638
00:38:42.559 --> 00:38:45.480
I was the general manager. What fascinated me in switching

639
00:38:45.519 --> 00:38:49.679
to government work was it was equally vital in serving

640
00:38:49.679 --> 00:38:53.760
the community. Here, it's the support of the courts welv

641
00:38:53.800 --> 00:38:57.000
and I aren't directly, we aren't the judges, we aren't

642
00:38:57.039 --> 00:39:01.280
running the courtrooms directly, but our support is vast in

643
00:39:01.599 --> 00:39:04.920
serving more than thirty courts, setting up the juries, dealing

644
00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:09.320
with the public around what they need for filing various issues.

645
00:39:09.840 --> 00:39:14.159
We're doing protective orders, adoptions, criminal issues, We're getting the

646
00:39:14.239 --> 00:39:17.800
jury set up, is administering that we do passports. So

647
00:39:18.679 --> 00:39:21.199
I'm putting a separate plug in for the importance of

648
00:39:21.320 --> 00:39:25.199
government work and community service, which I think has been

649
00:39:25.239 --> 00:39:28.960
getting some bad rep bad reputation the last few years

650
00:39:29.000 --> 00:39:31.679
and is a vital, critical part of what all of

651
00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:33.559
us enjoy in our community.

652
00:39:33.880 --> 00:39:37.440
Yeah, thank you for your service on many levels. And

653
00:39:37.599 --> 00:39:40.519
when I got to speak at one of your team meetings,

654
00:39:40.639 --> 00:39:43.519
it was clear to me, Chris, that you are a

655
00:39:43.559 --> 00:39:48.920
servant leader. You've created a safe and engaging environment in

656
00:39:48.960 --> 00:39:53.559
many ways, your theater skills, you're writing, your communication, brilliance.

657
00:39:54.559 --> 00:39:56.760
And a lot of that was essentially from Ana. So

658
00:39:56.800 --> 00:39:59.679
that's where this all circles back is I was a

659
00:39:59.719 --> 00:40:02.519
lover of the theater arts for many reasons, but my

660
00:40:03.440 --> 00:40:05.159
career was driven by my wife.

661
00:40:05.360 --> 00:40:08.480
Yeah. Yeah, she was such a powerful role model the

662
00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:11.440
power of service to others, and I suspect that being

663
00:40:11.480 --> 00:40:15.440
in service to others contributed in part to you know,

664
00:40:15.679 --> 00:40:19.320
grieving and realizing Okay, I'm going a channel, you know,

665
00:40:19.519 --> 00:40:22.639
this sadness to be in service to help others that

666
00:40:22.679 --> 00:40:25.280
are going through their difficult times through the court system.

667
00:40:25.679 --> 00:40:28.159
Well, actually, for me, it's a life and Nana did

668
00:40:28.199 --> 00:40:31.360
the same thing of if you love serving the community,

669
00:40:31.840 --> 00:40:35.239
then it's hard to be driven by other things. Although

670
00:40:35.280 --> 00:40:38.360
another nice thing with government work is you actually develop

671
00:40:38.480 --> 00:40:41.920
a retirement plan and retire with some funds coming in,

672
00:40:42.039 --> 00:40:44.000
which is not as easy to do in the nonprofit

673
00:40:44.039 --> 00:40:48.559
management world. So I'm losing my train of thought except

674
00:40:48.719 --> 00:40:52.679
to say that for me, service was hard to let

675
00:40:52.719 --> 00:40:57.400
go of, and so it wasn't so much a grief

676
00:40:57.440 --> 00:41:00.760
shift as a as a family business.

677
00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:03.360
Yeah, it's just part of your DNA, isn't it.

678
00:41:03.679 --> 00:41:07.719
Well, well in connection with Anna. So again that's what

679
00:41:07.760 --> 00:41:10.000
this leads to. That's coming to a nice conclusion, is

680
00:41:10.440 --> 00:41:14.719
that's the challenge with moving forward. And you mentioned in

681
00:41:14.760 --> 00:41:18.239
your initial write up my interest in online sales, which

682
00:41:18.239 --> 00:41:21.039
I still enjoy as a hobby so that I can

683
00:41:21.079 --> 00:41:25.280
get great jazz and great art movies. But be that

684
00:41:25.400 --> 00:41:30.159
as it may, I'm that was a capitalistic, entrepreneurial side

685
00:41:30.159 --> 00:41:32.400
of me that I've I don't want to go back to,

686
00:41:32.840 --> 00:41:35.400
which is why I resisted bringing it into this conversation

687
00:41:35.519 --> 00:41:39.599
because my work pleasure is in serving the community.

688
00:41:39.800 --> 00:41:44.280
Yeah, well, it's a busy time. You're just going through budgeting.

689
00:41:44.519 --> 00:41:46.840
I know how brought that can be. So thank you,

690
00:41:46.840 --> 00:41:50.360
by the way for taking about an hour out of

691
00:41:50.840 --> 00:41:52.960
an incredibly busy couple of weeks.

692
00:41:53.440 --> 00:41:55.119
You have a great show, and it's been a pleasure

693
00:41:55.159 --> 00:41:55.719
to join you.

694
00:41:56.679 --> 00:42:01.639
I'm so delighted. So we're to wind down. Sadly, time

695
00:42:01.719 --> 00:42:04.679
is never our friend. I wonder if there's something in

696
00:42:04.719 --> 00:42:07.639
your heart, something on your mind that you would love

697
00:42:07.679 --> 00:42:12.840
our listeners to know, in terms of a lesson or hope,

698
00:42:13.079 --> 00:42:15.320
point to hope, anything come to mind.

699
00:42:15.440 --> 00:42:18.159
I think I would throw out. I know we've talked broadly,

700
00:42:18.320 --> 00:42:21.800
but my sort of lessons from my last couple of

701
00:42:21.920 --> 00:42:24.920
years or several years and dealing with grief is that

702
00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:27.639
I do think there's a benefit to trying to say

703
00:42:27.719 --> 00:42:30.400
yes when people reach out to you. It's very hard

704
00:42:30.440 --> 00:42:33.159
to have them try to commiserate with you on what

705
00:42:33.199 --> 00:42:36.440
you've lost because they don't usually understand how we feel.

706
00:42:36.519 --> 00:42:39.239
So there are a lot of awkward dialogues. But when

707
00:42:39.280 --> 00:42:41.679
someone says can I bring you dinner? Or can I

708
00:42:41.760 --> 00:42:45.239
take you out for a walk. There's a if you're grieving,

709
00:42:45.280 --> 00:42:47.679
there's a real benefit to saying yes, because usually we

710
00:42:47.760 --> 00:42:51.119
have so much time alone because we've lost our partner

711
00:42:51.280 --> 00:42:55.559
or our child, that there's time available to sit insult

712
00:42:55.880 --> 00:42:59.639
and at the same time go out and enjoy dinner. Likewise,

713
00:43:00.079 --> 00:43:03.280
the benefit to exercise is that it changes your body

714
00:43:03.320 --> 00:43:05.639
in a way that gets you out of a certain

715
00:43:06.079 --> 00:43:09.519
day to day. And I'm also I've become a convert

716
00:43:09.840 --> 00:43:14.440
thanks to my friend Dino Rojol of intermittent fasting, and

717
00:43:14.719 --> 00:43:17.480
the plug on that is that breaking up the idea

718
00:43:17.559 --> 00:43:20.840
of always eating, which was my bad habit, and realizing

719
00:43:20.880 --> 00:43:23.800
that there's a your body may be able to recoup

720
00:43:23.840 --> 00:43:27.239
a bit with several hours that added of not having

721
00:43:27.280 --> 00:43:30.320
food in the stomach or the body. That to me

722
00:43:30.480 --> 00:43:33.760
is the essence of intermittent fasting, where you have a

723
00:43:33.760 --> 00:43:36.480
period of time where there's not a consumption of food

724
00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:39.800
going on in your system. And I've personally found that's

725
00:43:39.840 --> 00:43:41.639
taken care of some of the aches and pains of

726
00:43:42.320 --> 00:43:47.400
being sixty four. Those are my quick tidbits. Also, music helps,

727
00:43:47.679 --> 00:43:50.199
I love I would encourage people to listen to jazz

728
00:43:50.639 --> 00:43:52.800
if you want to start in a jazz mode, try

729
00:43:53.079 --> 00:43:59.360
Coltrane's meditations and keep sure its home concerts, and then

730
00:43:59.400 --> 00:44:02.239
with art move. A lot of times I find watching

731
00:44:02.800 --> 00:44:07.039
devastating family moments is actually cathartic in the sense of

732
00:44:07.559 --> 00:44:11.199
knowing what other people are experiencing and sort of reflecting

733
00:44:11.239 --> 00:44:12.159
on your own journey.

734
00:44:12.440 --> 00:44:16.559
Those are such viable tips, and you know, my addition

735
00:44:16.599 --> 00:44:20.119
to the cause would be the Stoics have an expression,

736
00:44:20.559 --> 00:44:25.000
Memento maray, remember death, not in terms of a morbid

737
00:44:25.119 --> 00:44:29.199
day to day thought, but more to celebrate the day

738
00:44:29.599 --> 00:44:33.400
that we have right now, without regret of the past,

739
00:44:33.480 --> 00:44:36.559
and not worry about the future, but to be truly

740
00:44:36.639 --> 00:44:39.760
present because you just never know. It's ticking inside you

741
00:44:40.159 --> 00:44:44.360
and you could be gone at any time. So memento moray,

742
00:44:44.480 --> 00:44:48.559
remember death and live life very good as you are.

743
00:44:48.599 --> 00:44:51.639
You're such a great role model for me, Chris. I'm

744
00:44:51.679 --> 00:44:54.400
so grateful that you're in my life, and thank you

745
00:44:54.519 --> 00:44:58.920
for being so authentic and vulnerable in sharing not only

746
00:44:59.000 --> 00:45:01.760
the stories but all so the lessons learned.

747
00:45:02.119 --> 00:45:04.280
Thanks for the invite, David, It's been a pleasure.

748
00:45:04.760 --> 00:45:07.000
So for our next port of call, we're going to

749
00:45:07.039 --> 00:45:11.559
be talking about leadership with my sense and also dear friend,

750
00:45:12.039 --> 00:45:16.199
doctor Frank Wagner. So please join us for episode thirteen

751
00:45:16.320 --> 00:45:20.079
next Monday at ten am Pacific, one pm Eastern and

752
00:45:20.199 --> 00:45:24.239
six pm c ET on KFOURHD dot com, and then

753
00:45:24.280 --> 00:45:30.400
a few days later on your favorite podcast platforms Spotify, Apple, iHeart.

754
00:45:30.679 --> 00:45:32.920
Thank you so much for investing your valuable time with

755
00:45:33.000 --> 00:45:36.239
us and on behalf of Christici Rebel Medler, our producer,

756
00:45:36.280 --> 00:45:40.000
and our entire Talk four media team. Please stay healthy,

757
00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:43.360
stay safe. We need you. We're better together.

758
00:45:43.800 --> 00:45:45.920
Thanks Rebel, Thanks David, Thank.

759
00:45:45.719 --> 00:45:48.760
You for listening to Regenerate with Captain Dave on k

760
00:45:48.880 --> 00:45:52.239
for HD Radio. We invite you to give yourself grace

761
00:45:52.320 --> 00:45:55.559
and grace the messy middle. See you every Monday at

762
00:45:55.760 --> 00:45:59.280
nam Pacific time. Until then, you got this.

763
00:46:00.320 --> 00:46:00.360
H